Sunday, September 04, 2005

"never take sides against the family"

Yesterday I was planning on going to what I thought was going to be a Bozzuto family Labor Day BBQ....I shouldn't have even been surprised at how mistaken I was.

You think we know how to throw a party?!? This was the most wonderfully rediculous display of celebration that I have ever seen in my life. John's family is not playing around. They take partying seroiusly.

John's family owns a waste disposal company and this Labor Day extravaganza was held on what they call "the compound" It is a giant plot of land perfect for throwing unbelieveable parties....but to call what I witnessed yesterday a party is a vast understatement.

We walked onto the compound to see about 3 acres of parking I would say that the size of the parking lot was just a tiny bit too small to hire a shuttle to take guests from the lot to the party. When we finally got past the parking lot we walked into what looked to be a fair grounds. There was a live band, a giant inflateable titanic slide, a moon-walk obsticle course, a rock wall, a dunk tank, and hay rides.

We were all starving so we went over to get some hamburgers and hot dogs under the 40 foot pavillion that John's dad and uncles had constructed just for the party...then we got drinks at the full bar with ice luge and went to get some seats.

After about our third round of drinks, some vodka soaked cherries, and a few jello shots a man walked by us with a plate of raw clams (from the raw clam bar) for his wife. When she told him to hold them while she got a drink, he responded with a Danny Devito-esc "MADON' what a set on this one...hold em" i can not do the comment justice without flailing my arms and using a thick brooklyn accent.

About 30 seconds later another man looking like he was straight out of the sopranos ran over, cupped his hands to his mouth and yelled "10 MINUTES TILL THE DEMOLITION DERBY!" Johns two friends from school and I looked at him in a he cant possibly be serious kind of way. John seemed unphased "oh yeah of course theres always a demolition derby" i guess that would explain the fire trucks.

For those of you who have never wittnessed a demolition derby, it is like real life bummper cars...the last car moving this case a $10,000 prize unfortunatly the event was cut short when john's uncle's engine caught on fire and the firefighters had to jump in.

At one point Robert Deniro, johns uncle, put his arom around me and pointed to the brise on my arm...."if johnny lays a hand on you bambina, you come and tell me right away understand" i figured that i better be carful about making jokes or i might have just gotten my boyfriend "whacked" so i just told him i would and thank you

later there was a catered dinner and a pig roast johns grandfather took a few turns on the ice luge and then kissed johns friend kim on the lips. Then of course the $40,000 fireworks dysplay put on by johns uncles who are of coursed licenced pyrotechnics.

John Kim Cooter and I ended the night with a bang when we stole the golf cart and drove it all over the grounds at top speed.

i will probably never be at another party like that again ....until next labor day of course


Kate said...

next year i am so IN

Betsy said...

OMG! I also am MORE than willing to make a trek to NB to participate in the festivities!