Tuesday, April 05, 2005

Kill them, or take them to the vet?

OK, so I was feeling a little guilty about being at work alllll day and not getting home for the dogs. I knew they'd be crazy hungry since I fed them early this morning, but I seriously worked all day nonstop and I don't do that a lot. I expected them to pee on the newspapers and I planned to not even be mad about it, considering. But things never go quite as you plan them, do they?

I cleaned out that nasty little fridge the other day that Miss M used for some wierd combo of meats, non-alcoholic beer and very, very old produce. I put it all in a garbage bag on the other side of the garage, separated from the dogs' room by a door. I guess I forgot to close that door this morning, because I came home to ALL OF IT EVERYWHERE. Now, what I'm discussing is the following refuse:
  • What the Chinese call "100 Year Eggs"
  • A package of link sausage that Miss M probably bought at Job Lot (note: they have no freezer section)
  • Their peed on and shitted on newspapers from the last week or so.

They pretty much ate all that and still tried to bite off my face when I came in. Now, I screamed so effectively that even the one in heat dropped her stupid dog-vagina between her legs and put her head down guiltily. For once, the killer cat isn't on my shit list because he managed to wait for dinner instead of going out and finding it.

IN OTHER NEWS: I was at a wine tasting class today for a story, and there was this couple sitting in the back. From eavesdropping, I learned that Heather is very impressed by herself and her beau came in from Manhattan today, looking very dapper in a tailored suit. Now, they both reeked of money and snoot, and they were both amazingly perfect looking. I wonder, do amazingly perfect people succeed more easily or does being successful and well-dressed make one seem amazingly perfect? And if a tree falls in my neighbor's yard because of his chainsaw within 100 feet of a water source, does Miss M still run down the hill to sneak pictures for DEM with her digital camera? Discuss amongst yourselves.

1 comment:

Erica said...

there are plenty of weathy people who are not at all perfect looking...and perfect looking people who are not weathy