Thursday, March 31, 2005

Random thoughts at bedtime

Since random thoughts are trendy today...
1) I successfully used the word "caboose" today in a story. OK, fine, it was a story about a train.
2) My yard is a venerable wildlife sanctuary and houses several varieties of birds' nests, including various birds of prey like a hawk and I think even some kind of eagle. One bird, however *definitely more like a titmouse than a bird of prey* seems to be nocturnal and tweets an average of once per minute at night. Does anyone know a bird with a sweet twitter who is nocturnal, and also how I can kill it?
3) Why do the dogs only pee in the house once the Divine Miss M has left the country? She probably thinks I'm lying, but they seriously start peeing in the house as soon as her British ass hits the end of the driveway. Now I leave for two hours and they've shit up the garage. What the f?

4) F!

a glimpse into ericas brain

Some random thoughts on various things

On Kate: Kate rocks and I'm glad that someone other than her friends are beginning to recognize that

On School: I was told to "go to hell" today by a student to which I replied "I'm here aren't I" (acctually i replied "who do you think you are, Jesus?" but the one i posted was much funnier)

On Anonominiminity: I spelled that wrong on purpouse becuase there is no WAY I would ever get it even with spell check; I dont like it. Its like being left out.

On Tom Toohey: we should have a separate blog dedicated to him... I have so many memories of a person i didnt know! like the time we went to visit shady j and he took us on a "Toohey tour" of the room making sure to point out the soiled sheets and towel and the used condom hanging over the wire waste basket.... then we retrieved shady js mattress from the attic of his dorm where it was dragged after he had been sexiled....or then there was the time that we had to warn those freshman girls on the drunk bus after we "over heard" their conversation of idol worship towards tom toohey...avoid the clap girls

On Children that tell me to go to hell: I dont like them

On stale peeps: I DO like them

On your mom: i dont regret skipping classes to play with your mom and the best thing about your mom is that shes a born loser...and i know that the 10.5 girls are going represent well

On the 10.5 girls: They really rock! I just love them all

On Jenn: call me back bitch
I haven't posted any photos yet so here are some random ones that I'm sure we'll all appreciate.

First up, our very first Reunion Weekend. The 20 Narry girls really loved those cones. Where are they now? Are they well taken care of?

We went to the Pelham for Brian's 21st birthday and on our way home, or Via Via, he had me stop and snap a pic of him and Kate in the gazebo next to the Newport Blues Cafe. I just remember him being really enthusiastic about it.

And just in case Anonymous really is Joe Lomastro I wanted him to feel special with his very own picture. He really loved living on a floor with 35 girls keeping him up all night. Oh Miley.

Random Memory (that really only Mel and Erin would get but I don't think they are aware of this blog): Hanging out in my and Mel's room with Erin and Joe was sitting at Mel's computer singing songs. One of which was "Lets Get it On" and Erin telling him he sounded like Jack Black at the end of High Fidelity.


I'm freaking out, so please excuse me if I don't make any sense. I just got off the phone with the editor at the Nashville paper. When I called, the secretary asked if I wanted to leave a message and I told her my name and she said, "Oh, didn't he call you yesterday?"
"No," I said, "I talked to him over the weekend though."
"Oh, well he's in a meeting but I'm going to go pull him out of it, hold on."

He came on the phone and thanked me for my package and for sending it so expiditiously (overnighted, at the brilliant suggestion of Betsy). He said he can see a lot of talent in my work and a lot of growth, and he's working with a lot of reporters over the years and can see me going places. (ME?!?!?) Then, he said he's glad he's gotten hold of me before the Boston Globe and New York Times are out looking for me. (MEEE?!?!?!??!?!??!) He said he's definitely interested and he'll be in touch to get me down there to discuss my long-term goals and possibilities with the paper.

The whole time, I was internally screaming, and thinking "holy crap, I hope he can't hear me squealing because I think it's internal but it might be leaking out."

He really means me? He means ME?!?!??!?!


And for the record, I was asked (by Brian) whether I sent a picture with my package, on account of the editor being a big intelligent African-American man. No, you assholes.


Re: Anonymous

Uuuuuuuuuuugh...I am so tired and SO HEADACHE! I spent yesterday trying to work on my resume/cover letter/PA application, but was successfully distracted by the weather, among other things. So, because it was so beautiful outside, I ended up at the park, playing baseball. When I say baseball, I obviously mean catch, although we probably could have gotten a good pick-up game going with the 2 eight year olds and their moms who were playing (and yes, they really were playing WITH their moms!) So obviously putting on a glove only reminds me of one thing....Is that YOUR MOM? Playing baseball? Ah yes, my friends. My random memory is the countless hours we spent playing with Your Mom. Haha...remember Costa going out and buying a glove because he didn't have one? The first 2 years were rough, we were still trying to find ourselves as a team, but we didn't let the "Mercy Rule" and the many times it applied to us to stop us from going back game after game. Our senior year Your Mom really got things together, and we started winning games. Unfortunately, I was stuck in an unskipable class every time Your Mom played. I always sat by the window though, watched Your Mom, and cheered.

Now, I cannot allow the crazy postings/comments of last night go unnoticed. Kate, thanks for sticking up for me! Erica, TRAITOR!

I have noticed a few things about this "ANONYMOUS." 1. His/her random use of capitals, I don't think it's really thought about when being done. 2. His/her use of HELL may indicate more Joe Lomastro than Sister Marianna, but we are all wished a blessed day, which is almost sweet, or condescending. 3. I can't help but notice this person calls our pictures scary, yet refuses to tell us even their name...kind of makes you wonder. 4. This person is obviously just like us...using our "blog" (and yes, that IS what we want to call it and don't you forget it) to avoid the realities of life, and uses our incredibly interesting lives as a distraction. Can you blame him/her? 5. Kate asked if anyone was reading this and found us amusing, and "ANONYMOUS" responded. You have to give him/her credit out of the hundreds of people who are supposedly reading our blog (according to the counter). This person is the only one who stepped up and actually told us how he/she felt.

Anonymous...I look forward to future postings/comments, and the HUMOR and insight that you can bring to our blog. I wonder who you are, and how you found our apparently "ungoogleable" site. These are questions that I hope you can answer at some point, among other questions/comments that I have for you which can be discussed at a future time. Who knows, maybe you are the now infamous Tom Toohey, and the mystery of the pink towel can finally be solved.

PS- I proofread and spell checked this post. If you find mistakes you must be some kind of English teacher or editor or something!

Wednesday, March 30, 2005

Stand proud!

Thought I'd share, since I'm sitting here at the computer at night again avoiding writing a dry story, that there's been a brilliant advancement in the world of candy. They now have Junior Caramels... like Junior Mints, except caramel inside. "Soft milk caramels in pure chocolate." I'm here with a box of them and a York peppermint patty hot chocolate. I couldn't be happier if I had a big jar of caramel and a spoon, much like the one I used to keep in my desk during particularly stressful semesters.

p.s. who is this anonymous commenter that says we are ALL HELLarious... I couldn't help but notice the capitalization of ALL HELL. Are you trying to tell us something? You've gotta be either Sister Marianna or Joe Lomastro... Also, no new KNEWS? Is that a purposeful misspelling or are you mocking my profession? These are questions that must be answered!

Oodles of Googles

I googled "Tom Toohey" for the hell of it. I was curious. There were 206 results but none were this blog. There were Salve baseball roster/scores that came up.

Did you know that if you google "20 Narry" the second entry is Kate's lovely farewell article. I remember sitting in New Media class on one of the first days when DHL was talking about search engines and how you have to submit your webpage to be included in Google. She said its something Mosaic should consider, and Kate goes "oooh yeah I just did it." Kate you were very on top of things like that for the paper.

And since I brought it up can we please talk about the poor editing of Mosaic Online this year? No offense to the current staff should they be reading this. But we always took such pains to make it at least look the same with consistent font size and proper line breaks even if it we missed a spelling or punctuation on occasion.

Today's issue had
an article missing its ending:
"From the assortment of muffins and scones to the moist and ap"
I don't know about you but I want to figure out what "the moist and ap..." is.

Random Memory: Well why type it out when you can
go read it and relive the genius moment!

Tuesday, March 29, 2005

Why I love Jenn

JENN! That has to be one of the best posts yet! My mom just came into my room wanting to know why I was laughing/crying so much. Obviously I remember that day like it was yesterday. You failed to leave out that we sat next to each other for about 2-3 weeks of class before even aknowledging each other. But then the day came when Katie Giovani pushed you over the edge, and we walked back to Miley and you cried...she did really cry everyone. I made the mistake of cnvincing you to talk to Kendall and we did start watching Friends together every Thursday, my fav of these nights of course being the night I spilled queso on the rug. I did warn you to never go to my room when I wasn't there, and you didn't believe me. A few days later though after being trapped in my room for hours with my litterally psycho roommate, you suddenly realized that it was more than just a warning! But my psycho roommate is obviously the source of a different random memory post. Obviously I totally remember that monstrosity of a group project. I don't think I have ever bullshitted a project they way that we did. I also remember feeling really bad about making it up at the end, so I actually did some kind of work for it last minute. I have no idea what the hell possessed us to talk to, let alone work on a project with, Tom Toohey. And that Caitlin girl was just awful too, you know as soon as we were done working they were probably having sex. You forgot about the old lady we worked with on it too. That had to be the most random group of people ever assigned to work on something together.

Why I love Erica:
" know Tom Toohey? Well, what if his mom's name was Pat. She'd be Pat-oohey! Or Sasanka? Sasanka-toohey!"

RANDOM MEMORY: (or not so random in this case)
The first few weeks of freshman year Erica and I were inseperable, unless of course it was the weekend and she was going to some party. So, we rollerbladed alot. One sunny afternoon we decided to head over to Seaview to see Justin, aka Shady J. We get there, climb up the stairs in our rollerblades and are hanging out in his room. Suddenly, in walks Tom Toohey...wearing only the infamous pink towel. I don't know whose towel it was, and I don't know if they boys of Seaview knew whose towel it was, because everytime I was there, a different guy was taking a shower and using the pink towel to dry off afterwards.

As I'm writing this I had a thought. You know how we all use google to search for people? Well what if someone searches "Tom Toohey" someday. Will our blog pop up in the search results? Do we care? It's a crazy thought! You know as soon as I post I'm going to google "Tom Toohey" just to see what happens. I'll keep you posted!
A few random thoughts while I put off writing some crappy article on outsourcing for just 10 more minutes.
  1. On the Salve Web site, Dr. Eula Fresch has two interesting interests listed in her profile: global issues (how specific) and the historical preservation of cabooses. Now, here is where Eula and I differ, because if I were going to preserve a caboose, I would hope it's a nice round one (no offense, Jenn).
  2. I have come to associate writing at the computer at night with eating candy. This is a problem because I write 40 hours a week. I cannot eat candy 40 hours a week ANYMORE
  3. I think I've found Osama Bin Laden. According to the police scanner that's been buzzing for the last hour, he's the contact at Bahras' Market and he's been calling 911, then saying everything is fine when they call back.
  4. Have you guys ever considered that this shit we write on here is potentially being read by people we don't know? Do you think strangers understand our sense of humor? (If any strangers are reading this and think we're funny, speak now or forever hold your peas.)

This is a little ditty entitled....

"How I fell in love with everyone who posts to the blog"

Oh, hello. I have not posted in about 57 years because I don’t really have anything new to tell about. However, I came up with a genius idea… yes, two genius ideas in two days after I called Kate on Sunday to furiously con her into letting me borrow her digital camera so I could take pictures of my shit and sell it on Ebay. This post is entitled, “How I fell in love with the other people that post on the 20 Narry blog.” And I have to say, this is an eerily accurate recounting of all the tales (it took me pretty much all afternoon. It’s probably the best blog I’ve ever done.) Here goes:

How I fell in love with Josh: Scene: 9th grade gym class volleyball. Now, I knew Josh but we weren’t really close friends. I had made this necklace with these brown stones on it (yes, I made it you assholes). I noticed that Josh was wearing the same necklace.
Me: Josh! We have the same necklace! Where did you get that?
Josh: Canobie Lake. Where did you get yours?
Me: I made it.
Josh (places hand on hip): JUST because I got mine somewhere out of state DOESN’T mean you can tell everyone you made yours. As we loked eyes, I realized that Josh was as downright mean as I was and that we were meant to be together. That was my future biffle.

How I fell in love with Kate: Well obviously everyone knows this story but I have to tell it again.
Scene: 1st day of classes at Salve, Dr. Joan David’s Pell honors English class with all these weiiiiiirdos (does anyone else remember Angela from New Bedford besides me and Kate?)
Me (in my head): DAMN! Look at all these losers! I have to transfer.
Dr. David (calling role): Kate Howard?
(I look at Kate suspiciously. We are sitting next to each other coincidentally)
Dr. David (calling role): Jennifer Paolozzi?
(Kate looks at me suspiciously)
(Dr. David finishes)
Kate: Don’t I know you?
Me: Aren’t you from Warwick? My best friend in first grade’s name was Katie Howard!
Kate: Did you play Apponaug Girls Softball?
Jenn: Can I grab your boob? (Ok that didn’t really happen but we didn't know then what we know now)
Then I spent about 3 days trying to convince Kate to move into Miley so we could be closer together cause she was the only person that I didn’t totally hate at that point… cut to two weeks later when we sat in Kate’s room all day eating, playing Snood and talking about how Kate thought Erica hated her/How I was afraid of Erica and downloading penis songs on the computer.

How I fell in love with Erica: Well, as we all know I was deathly afraid of Erica for all of first semester freshman year and her very manly Birkenstocks (I don’t think I had ever been that close to anyone wearing them as of yet). There were many occasions that I found myself realizing that she wasn’t so scary (like when she let me use her computer to play Snood) but here’s what really sealed the deal:
Scene: Miley Hall, 3rd floor, a Friday night.
Erica: Jenn, have you ever had Captain Morgan?
Me: Noooooo Erica I haven’t! (thinking to myself: Oh GREAT! We’re going to get wasted!)
Erica: Ok, here’s some Captain and coke it’s really good.
Me (three drinks later): HEEEEEEY let’s drink this Captain Morgan out of this coffee mug!
Erica: OK!!
Me (three drinks after that): HEEEEEY let’s go get the Captain Morgan out of Melissa’s room!
Erica and Kate in unison: OK!!
Then before Kate began to gorge herself on microwaved s’mores or something Erica and I began to list things we had in common like getting hair in our asses while showering or something.
(Cut to three hours later)
Erica: Quick! Put your head in the trash bag! YEAAAAAAAY you have the best aim!!

How I fell in love with Betsy: Scene: Dr. Monteiro’s freshman year sociology class, where Tom Toohey ran his mouth about anything he was thinking about at the time. I sat in that class trying to control my utmost distress (a.k.a. trying not to bawl my eyes out) about how much I wanted to kill Katie Govoni and her mole-like ways.
Betsy: Hey you live on my floor right?
Betsy: Uhhhh ok, it’s ok, I am friends with Kendall I think you should go talk to her she will totally understand!
Me: But I haaaaaaaate Kendall she is so mean to meeee!
Betsy: I will tell her your roommate sucks! Come over anytime you want to talk! Want to come over?
By the time we got back to Miley Betsy had me totally convinced to tell Kendall all my problems, to watch Friends with her on Thursday and also told me to beware of coming over when only her roommate was home.
Betsy, tell me you totally remember that time we worked on that group project with that bitch Caitlin and Tom Toohey!

How I fell in love with Erica J.: Now, although I did not know Erica until the end of junior year, that does not make this story any less romantic. Ok, here is a little information about me….. I don’t know if you know this, but I am not very comfortable around people I don’t know. (Can you believe it! Me either! I can’t believe I never told anyone that.)
Scene: Kate’s room, a night before one of our parties.
Kate: I think I am going to invite Erica Johnson and her roommates to our party tomorrow night.
Erica: YEAAAAY!! I LOOOOVE PEEEEEEEPOLLLLLLEEEEEE!!! People at our house? Party? Party? Party? Road trip? (Tail wags)
Me: Um…. Well I don’t know her…… or her roommates….
Kate: Don’t worry, you will like her she’s really nice.
(Cut to three hours later…. people are starting to come over…. I am not yet drunk)
Me (Slaps hand to forhead): OOOOOOOH people I don’t knoooow are commmmming… I’m not coming to the partyyyyyyyyy (ok, I didn’t really do that, but can’t you just picture it)
Kate (starting to get pissed): Jenn!! It is ok that they come over. ERICA JOHNSON IS MY FRIEND, she’s not going to bite you!!
(cut to about 3 hours later, we are all well in the bag and I have talked to everyone I didn’t know)
Me (yanks Kate into downstairs bathroom, successfully knocking over about 14 previously used liquor bottles): KATE.
Kate: What.
Kate: Jenn, I told you she was nice. You should talk to people you don’t know. They aren’t that bad especially if I told you they were nice.
Me: Ok. I totally have to go find Erica Johnson right now and tell her I love her.
Kate: Ok. You go do that. (Insert eye roll here)
(I furiously run out of the bathroom to find Erica and profess my undying love to her as she looks at me like I'm some kind of lunatic.)

18 days until MIAMI! And may I say, Te voy a mandar para la luna! Ok, I’m off to eat some stale Peeps. Peace out.

Here I am!

Oh, hello! Pardon my absence, I haven't been able to produce any logical thoughts since Saturday that don't have to do with Nashville. What was that? You don't know what I'm talking about because I DIDN'T call you screaming yet? My bad, I thought I called everyone.

It may not turn out to be anything to get excited about. But I got a call from the editor at the Tennessean in Nashville saying he liked the stuff I sent him and he wanted me to send another package with more stuff. No, I didn't send him a kite with my panties attached (Josh!); he liked my writing! He's a big black dude. I'm SO in.

So, my mind has been swirling with the possibilities, although I've unfortunately told my present employer I will stay on another year. Oh well, they would deal. Besides, this paper is exactly 14.08 times the size of mine in circulation, and I'm still secretly thinking they called me by accident. That is pretty huge- think twice the size of the ProJo- and truth be told, it's probably out of my league. Also, it's a religion reporting job... turns out that religious studies minor might turn out to be worth more than just extra classes with Dr. Cowdin. Pray he likes this stuff and calls for an interview!

Random memory: I was job hunting last spring and wanted nothing more than manila envelopes and big Sharpies to address them. Jenn later bought me two of them, mostly so I would stop taking hers but it really touched me.


Monday, March 28, 2005

Um, hello?

Ok, the last post was last Friday, and it was by me also. Where the heck is everyone?? I know that you all had a few minutes this weekend to post something, and we all ALWAYS have something to say. So what the F? Look for a post by Erica J towards the end of the week regarding the next Newport Reunion Weekend.

Why I love Kate:
BetsLeigh82: it's spring break...i plan on doing a little work this afternoon and then having a wonderful evening
kateh11307: you go girl
kateh11307: have fun
kateh11307: use protection

Friday, March 25, 2005

The Head

Random Memory:
This post is dedicated to the Head. The Head had some good times at 20 Narry, and it always came dressed appropriatly, whether for the baseball game, Christmas party, or Wild, Wild West festivities. One of my favorite memories is when someone knocked into the coffee table sending the Head to what could have been a very untimely death. Now, I wasn't about to let that happen, so I dove off the couch and rescued the Head from a very messy end. But my ultimate favorite Head memory was "The Giving of the Head." See the pictures below if you don't remember this momentous and sad occassion.

After 2 years the Head leaves 20 Narry Posted by Hello

We hearby give the Head to you Posted by Hello

Raise your right hand....your OTHER right hand Posted by Hello

The Head with his new roomiesPosted by Hello

Everyone loves the Head Posted by Hello
I have been up for 4 hours already this morning, sent out a few resumes, read all my blogs and online news, so now I'll make a post while I wait to go do errands.

I was supposed to do a story with the president of the bank in Cass Lake today. I was given this assignment yesterday evening after the bank closed so I woke up early this morning to call the bank to make arrangements. I spoke with a woman there who put me on hold and promptly came back to tell me the president has declined doing an interview. How about a last day photo? No, he'd rather not. Could I ask you for a little information about how long he's worked there and such? I don't really know that but I can find someone who will call you back. After a little discussion with the newspaper's other reporter (there are only 2 full-time reporters and then me) I didn't get information on why the guy is leaving just a statement on what will be happening.

It is apparently good enough for them so I guess it is good enough for me. But now it's only noon and I have to figure out what to do with my day. I will probably do some more resumes and reading unless there are any other suggestions? :)

Oh look what Salve's doing now: Students publish their academic records with ePorfolios
And look DHL immortalized in a sample porfolio for all of the world wide web to see. I particularly like this quote from the sample:
"If nothing else, this is teaching me that I was definitely meant to be a journalistic writer...this scholarly crap is not for me."
Ah to be in thesis class once again.

Thursday, March 24, 2005


Things that were right with today:
  • I got very Zen at my first ever yoga class. I also felt proud because I already knew the cat/cow poses from the Carmen Electra Striptease video.
  • I was a super journalist and accomplished much.

Things that were very wrong with today:

  • I sprayed hairspray directly into my right eye while trying to maintain my new professional/cute like a baby hairdo.
  • Fred killed a mouse and left it for me on the sink downstairs. As usual, my coping mechanism tells me to deal with it later, which may not be smart considering the following little rhyme I've just written: If it can't walk away, it will only decay.

Funny Pictures

Can you spot what's so funny about this picture??

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I just find this one funny.

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Oh that Tara...

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Mom You've been Punk'd!

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Wednesday, March 23, 2005

Teal is the new black, I hear

I'm starting to think a week is the new two days.

When did men start getting the idea that a week is an appropriate time frame to wait to call a girl? I don't know about everyone else, but after three or four days, I forget and lose interest. What brings this on, you ask? Sidney, of course!

Sidney = another name on the list of wierd foreign men who leave odd messages on my answering machine. I met him last week at the Kell's in Boston; he's a little Brazilian dude with braids and a sideways trucker hat. Cute. We danced all night and made out a little. He asked me if I was thirsty and gave me the rest of his beer, and handed me one of those sticker nametags to write my phone number on. I don't know where he got that.

Of course the next morning I slapped my forehead when the hangover wore off and thought "why did you give another man your number who has another primary language? It never works!" But alas. I did. So he just called, a week later, and leaves the following message in a Brazilian accent:

"Hi Kate, it's Sidney. Call me back, OK? Bye. oh, thank you."

With a message like that you'd think I know the guy, and wonder why he's thanking me.

P.S. I can't carry this blog forever. Get off your asses and post!

Tuesday, March 22, 2005

If that's your REAL name...

According to the phone book, the interminable CIA agent with the monacle is not really named Zup. His listing is R.C. James. Also, when googling the name Zup, there is not a SINGLE hit. Nobody on the earth/Internet goes by the name Zup.
So he and the Divine Miss M both go by names not their own. Riiiiight. Is that some kind of rich people thing?
Cue the Twilight Zone music.

Doo doo doo doo, doo doo doo doo, doo doo doo doo

Monday, March 21, 2005

Of course (slaps forehead)

Well, phew. Here I was thinking that the contents of my coin jar, which I've been putting my silver change into for months, was emptied by the divine Miss M... Turns out it was just the ghosts. Some years back, "House" suffered a devastating fire and it burnt to the ground after some candles set the third floor ablaze. This was not the result of careless candle usage or an unfortunate draft, however. According to the Divine Miss M, it was the Indians.

This house was built on an old Indian meeting ground, and about 70 Indians of years past had taken to converging on the site. They were less than thrilled when the house went up and they waited for the perfect moment to strike back. They threw portraits off the walls and broke glass sculptures, biding their time until the stepson left the room empty, with a couple open flames. This is all according to Miss M and the "douser" hired to check the house. He discovered a veritable pow-wow playground of spirits, apparently, and advised for an exorcism after the house was rebuilt. In other words, this house should be cleaaaaaaar. But, perhaps not, since things like a bucket of quarters are suddenly disappearing from my room.

"Has anyone been in my room you don't know well, because I'm missing some change," I asked, watching for a flinch or blush, some evidence of guilt. I did catch a visible twitch, and a little flushing of the cheeks. "Well, that's bizarre, one guy with the radiator may have been here and I will certainly find out," she said. "I mean, I am pretty sure the ghosts are gone, but perhaps it was them."

Ghosts. Right. Like it's not bad enough living in the woods, without a door, and ignoring all the weird noises that I’ve acclimated myself to. Now, she is going to tell me I’m sharing the third floor with some pissed off natives?

This raises some interesting questions. If people I can't see took $20 in silver, does it still clang in their pockets? Could they be in need of ghost money, like the Buddhists burn for their dead relatives, and they can't buy any hot dogs in heaven without my money? Have they taken my money for reparations? Should I call Foxwoods and see if some transparent fuckers with feather headdresses are having a blast on my quarters while “giving back to the community?” At least these ghosts are probably civic minded, and I mean, I care about what we did to the Indians, but I really wanted those quarters to play poker.

“Perhaps I’ll consult my astrologer before I go away,” she said.

Oh. Please do.

Sunday, March 20, 2005

Lost in the woods

Saturday Kate and I went on an excursion that involved us being lost in the woods for about an hour with two dogs. All we could think about was food the entire time. Thank God we made it back alive. Other then that I haven't posted because my life has been pretty average lately. Nothing new over here. The most exciting thing that has happened to me lately has been the very shocking disappearance of Kate's life savings from her coin bank... which, may I say to certian people, I am very offended that SOME of you actually think that I took the money. Assholes.

Random Memory:
When Josh and Danielle came over sophomore year and Josh told the spirit stick story over and over to many amused audiences. I know I don't have to recap the entire story because you all know it very well.

Friday, March 18, 2005


Hello? Is this Lil Kim?
Who this?
Don't worry about all that. I found your number in my man's pocket.
Well shit bitch! Give it to him then! No wonder the muthafucka hasn't called me yet! Look at your fuckin groupie ass! Stealin numbers and shit.
Wha? Fuckin' bitch! I'mma see your ass at the mothafuckin' concert.

ive been gone for a minute now im back its the jump off

although it may seem like i have been unreachable for the past few days i am still alive. As many of you know i "lost" my cell phone and now im attempting to get back all of your numbers because in all the newport excitement, they were scattered all over rt. 22...i have also been sick... i feel that our weekend in newport can be sumed up in one word... shocking

Thursday, March 17, 2005

Erica's new much better than the one scattered on rt 22! Posted by Hello


You are TOO TIRED to go out again! Posted by Hello

down the shirt 3... Posted by Hello

down the shirt 2... Posted by Hello

down the shirts... Posted by Hello

After the parade Posted by Hello

Newport Storm Guy Posted by Hello

SHOCKAH! Posted by Hello
I've tried for days to think of a good way to recap in a post our st patty's newport reunion weekend, but have been totally unsuccessful. I guess that the only way to sum it up is, "I can count on the memories, cause they don't go away." The following are a few highlights:

-Presidente Margaritas to kick off the weekend
-Kate's incredible investigation/location of Erica (because obviously her phone was splattered all over Rt. 22)
-heart to heart with Jenn and Courtney in the ATM vestibule
-20 Narry Drive By
-"THERE IS A PUBE IN THIS BED! What should I do?"
-Following the parade down Thames/stalking the Newport Storm Float (Take me to beer or lose me forever!)
-Red Headed Sluts, AKA Kate's Shot
-Firehouse pizza

Also, I'm gonna try to figure out the whole posting pictures business so everyone can see our weekend!

And because I promised I would, my current RANDOM MEMORY:
Remember that time when we were hanging out at 20 Narry and we had just finished that shake and pour bottle of pancakes and only had little bits or random alcohol? Well, we decided to all do a shot of bacardi or parrot bay, and as soon as I took the shot, it immediately came right back up all over the floor of the kitchen. We all just kind of stood there in disbelief for a few minutes before totally cracking up.

Wednesday, March 16, 2005

Ahem [clears throat]

I went up to this thug gangster and he was like "yo, muthafucker, weeeee." Then, I saw this kid and he was going really fast in a wheelchair down a hill and i was like "weeeee!" When you're a kid and you wanna go "Weee..." but you ain't got drugs yet... Hold out for your life.
Hold on to your little gonads... and STRIFE !
Gonads and strife, gonads and strife, gonads and
strife, gonads and strife



Look, what I'm trying to say here is, WHERE ARE YOU FUCKS?!?!?!

Monday, March 14, 2005


How old I feel!

I started off my 23rd with a phone call from my mom reminiscing about labor pain and more calories than the USDA recommends in a week, courtesy of IHOP. After a lazy afternoon at Steph's house I had possibly the best mudslide ever created at Brick Alley... followed by the best martini ever created... along with the best dessert ever created. Up total calorie content to 2 weeks worth.

I met two other March 13 babies at O'Briens, the first of which was singing a spirited rendition of "My Way." He was clearly in his 60s at least, and judging by the long mink coats of his lady companions, probably a little bit rich. He hugged and kissed me a lot, and then we took pictures. We promised to meet again next year, same time, same place. I didn't even get his name... [sigh] The second birthday baby was a very nice girl who came out of the bathroom with toilet paper stuck to her shoe. I liked her.

Steph and I sang a rendition of "I Will Survive" that had even Cathy's ex-boyfriend Tim (okay, maybe it was ONLY Cathy's ex-boyfriend Tim) singing along with a fervor. "Shoop" brought the house down, as usual. One of the copy editors here at the paper sang me a Happy Birthday before his gravelly "What a Wonderful World" and he didn't even know that me and Erica's mom both love that song! Like fate!

Surprising to me was how quickly my former Panini Grill crush got old. You all remember him. Blue eyes, blond hair, all "I've been a philosophy major for 6 years" hot. This fella used to be fiiiine and a damn good reason to show up for work, but he was all raggedy and wearing a coat with a fur-lined hood. And ladies and gentlemen, before you comment on my probable hypocrisy, that only works when you're ghetto.

When I'm not on company time I will offer a summary of this eventful weekend unless someone else would like to jump in...

Sunday, March 13, 2005

Happy Birthday Kate! You're not online for me to wish you well so I will do it here :)

I'm sure you've heard some 50 Cent's "In Da Club" today so I've selected another musical group through which to wish you a happy day:

"Happy birthday to you, you're still young.
Age is just a number, don't you stop having fun.
This is your day, your day, happy birthday to you.
This day only comes once every year,
Because you're so wonderful with each and everything you do, hey!

Happy birthday to you, this is your day.
On this day for you we're gonna love you in every way.
This is your day, your day, happy birthday to you, to you.
This day is only for you, 'cause you're so special in every way,
happy birthday to you!"

-New Kids On The Block

Thursday, March 10, 2005

So today was the first day of DSTP, our state testing, and it was more stressful for me than my students I'm sure. They get as much time as they need, but the recommendation is 2 hours. After 2 hours none of mine were done, after 3 hours 3 were done and the rest were still going strong. I'm walking around the room freaking out because they are no where near done and I'm thinking if they all get zeros I will never be able to teach again! I was also stressing about my 2 darlings who have daily anger outbursts, wondering when the bomb was going to go off. The day goes on, and slowly my kids are finishing up, and finally, with 5 minutes left in the day, my last 2 turned in their tests. I don't know how I am going to deal with 4 more days of this next week. We may just need another reunion starting next Friday. Just kidding....or not?

Random Memory:
In honor of Thursday's college night at the Garden! Since it got you in for free, it was the one night of the week where your college ID actually was worth all the times you paid to get a new one because you lost it. A few memories:
"Oh, you better get me really drunk before we go out if you want me going there!" -Erica
"I am NOT too drunk to drive home!" -Jenn
"Will you go get me some water?" Me (at 10:30)
"Oooooh! Look at Adam playing guitar! He's so CUTE!" -everyone
"OH, we're half way there, oh livin on a prayer!" -Those Guys

Roger's dad is so hot

Ok so we had this big ESL parent meeting today during school to discuss the changes to the ESL program for next year and first of all let me just say Kate, you would absolutely DIE if you saw one of my kids dads. He is like, the hottest and most concerned father of all time.... also the most recent arrival from the Dominican Republic. For a short run down of the meeting: There were more interpreters than parents, one of the dads was pierced from head to toe, another one fell asleep during the meeting and yet a third was wearing an electronic monotoring device (must be fluent in at least one southeast asian language for gang prevention program). This all one day after we were put on lockdown due to rising crime/child snatchers in the neighborhood. Oh well tomorrow is Friday..... um and anyone want naptime when we get to the hotel? Cause I think I am getting a cold (sideways face)

Magic Stick

"I got the magic stick
I know if I can hit once, I can hit twice
I hit the baddest chicks
Shorty don't believe me, then come with me tonight
And I'll show you maaagic
(What? What?) Maaagic
I got the magic stick"

I haven't heard this song in awhile. So I knew it was fate telling me I should make a post when it came on while I checked the 20 Narry Blog.

I have a good random memory attached to this song (I am sure there are others so please share 'em): One morning after Writing and Editing for New Media, Kate, Courtney, and I drove to Ma's for some coffee when this song started playing. Courtney was so excited and of course Kate was doing her Lil Kim perfectly. Then Courtney started doing these great "What? What?" dance moves while driving. I'm sure anyone who saw us thought we all were suffering from some seizures or just plain crazy.

Wednesday, March 09, 2005

87 points for me

I am pulling into the lead by a hair over here... (no pun intended ;-)

WCLLJenn: dont forget your brooklyn shirt bitch
Kateh11307: oh its already packed
Kateh11307: oh godi just admitted im packing
Kateh11307: .... dont tell anyone
Kateh11307: i pulld my duffel bag out of the closet and thought of you
Kateh11307: also ive packed three irish themed shirts to choose from
Kateh11307: and i packed hair suppliiiiiiiiies
WCLLJenn: wow
WCLLJenn: erica wouldnt park at the gym today till she had a front row spot
WCLLJenn: shes all planned for the week also
Kateh11307: hmph

We got head Posted by Hello

2 more days!

I am so excited for Friday I can hardly wait! Promise me we can go to Brick Alley so I can drink myself silly on MOOOOOJITOS! Betsy call me tomorrow with your flight info. Funny everyone’s teaching partners were out this week. Mine also was today and to keep the teacher talk to a minimum nothing overly exciting happened except one kid punched a girl in the face and I found out one of my 10 year old first graders is being banned from the public schools because he is a dirty little Dominican you know…. (to anyone who doesn’t know I am just kidding) speaking of that, someone at Danielle’s house on Saturday night used the n word and I told him off for about 45 minutes and you know how it is when I get going. Other then that I will not bore you with any more information… I’d rather tell all my dirty, dirty gossip to you all in person this weekend!! Oh a few things to remember for our upcoming celebration: 1) no worries I am totally fabulous again (a.k.a. blonde) 2) bring gym clothes just in case we get motivated 3) wear green 4) plan on making the list! YAAAAAAAAAAAAAY!

Here’s a little ditty I chose to leave you with (spelling unchanged)…. 5 humps to whoever can guess what it is from.

Day 2: 2/15
Day 2 of the diary, the music is so loud I cant even think straight. I think I heart tequila 2 shots 3 drinks=5 I’m drunk. Here’s Erica.
I just grabbed the hotel Viking pen out of Jenn’s cleavege with my teeth my throat hurts but that didn’t stop me from doing shots! I heart tequila tequila=(techela)

Hump Day

So my teaching partner called me as I was walking out the door today to tell me that she would be absent. Suddenly visions of Erica's day yesterday went flashing through my head. I thought, when would it be appropriate to go into the "if a gun man were in the building..." scenario. Luckily, it has not come to that....yet. Seeing as it's DSTP time tomorrow, we have been taking it kind of easy this week, and the kids are enjoying it, and actually behaving. What's up for the afternoon, oh well, we will totally be watching the Brandy version of Cinderella. Hey, it relates to literature!

Random memory:
Pretty much all of second semester freshman year can be summed up in one phrase:

"You might as well face it, you're addicted to SNOOD!"

As I'm writing this I can just hear the poems and the "duh da duh, duh da duh! PLEASE!" It got so bad that even my roommate Kate I. was hooked! I will never forget when Kate and I went to New York for the day and my Kate was upset because she was going to be all alone because everyone was off doing something or other. Kate consoled her by saying that she would leave the door unlocked and the computer would be free for her Snooding pleasure. When Kate and I got home that evening we walked into her room to find my Kate, sitting at the computer with a very guilty look on her face. Erica even walked away from the addiction with a t-shirt.

RIP Christopher Wallace

Keep the f a secret, why not?
Why blow up my spot 'cause we both got hot?
Now check it
I got more Mack than Craig, and in the bed
Believe me sweetie, I got enough to feed the needy

Today is the 8th anniversary of Biggie's death. If you don't knoooow, now you know, n*gga

Tuesday, March 08, 2005

Clemente Story Time

So sometimes, I feel like I need a movie of the week. Today I went into school expecting the worst. My teaching partner had a doctors appointment. Tara, my partner, is the only person that doesnt have a prison record that has any control over the kids. The last time she was out, the 5th grade attempted muteny, and they would have succeded if it werent for the principal who made it in just the nick of time.

Today I decided that I was going to keep control of the class if it killed me. I would win; there was no stopping me today...

The day was going considerably well when 10 minutes into my second class, the lights go out and my whole class starts screaming like something out of greek mythology. I didnt think much of it because the "fun" thing to do in the 5th grade is to turn the lights off to piss off miss mentone. ..but sure enough it was a power outage. I got the kids to stop screaming by scareing the shit out of them...I told them that if there were a gun man in the building and the principal announced a lock down, we wouldnt be able to hear it and he would have taken out half the class. I had them so petrified that by the end of my lecture, the biggest bully (girl) in the class faked a stomach ache and went home. So still things are not awful, but getting worse: the vice principal came in and told the kids that they would be eating lunch early completly distroying any structure that i had 1:30 i was attempting to feild kids out of the hall and into my room.

And as if all of this isnt enough to cause a stroke, at some point in the day I locked all of my keys into my locker. Then after I had to have the lock cut off, I spent 3 hours trying to drive home in a blizzard.

This Post Is Kate's-Ass Free.

How would I even begin to list memories, there are so many! Reading about Bar-One though reminded me of the night we took the bus to Bar 1, and I told that fat Chris Cioe that Kate wanted him and that he should just go up to her and make out with her and he did! HA!

On our way out I was waiting outside, drunk, thinking we were never going to make the bus, and when I asked what the hold up was someone said it was because Rehsha (sp?) was in the Coat room. But it was cold out that night and everyone was complaining that they didn't bring a coat on the way there so I was confused. Well Rhesha comes out carrying three Jackets and hands them out, she just took them! Nice jackets too!

We missed the bus, and had Pat and Sean drive my powder blue Chrysler New Yorker down to Prov to get us all, and then some drunk patrons of Chads informed us another bus was coming.

Monday, March 07, 2005

A little Mary J.

I woke up this morning, opened up my eyes and prayed
Lord, it's just a beautiful day
No matter what nobody say...

Despite the face that I woke up this morning to find that not only had i set my alarm clock to p.m. instead of a.m. (this discovery being made when I should've been on the way to work) AND that Elsa left not one or two but three 'surprises' for me to clean up, I'm feeling pretty damn good today. The day had virtually no potential but I stepped outside and the sun was shining and the snow was melting and I haven't stopped smiling since.

Despite the fact that I met another hot, fun, perfect-for-me guy this weekend and he also turned out to be a jerk. This one may have held a bit of potential had he not spent all night dancing/flirting with me and turned out to have a girlfriend.

Despite all this, I would like to remind my ladies that it is in fact a beautiful day.


February 19, 2004

Oh man ma! I am practically peeing my pants myself rereading our escapades. And, I have to add even though it will make me look worse, that there was no pothole. The sidewalk may have been a little uneven, but no pothole. And although it was one of the most painfull experiences of my life, it was one of the most worth it for everything that happened before! And I'm sorry it meant that you had to get a ride home with the officer, but just think about the enjoyment picturing the scene in your head time after time. Even I laugh about it now!

Random Memory:
I just knew that I was going to lose the bracelet my grandmother gave me for graduation if I wore it out, but I wore it anyway. Sure enough I woke up the next morning and, besides being bemused about how the hell I ended up wearing pj's when I know I went to bed in my clothes, I also began freaking out because the bracelet was gone. Erica to the rescue! I must have searched for a good hour before she showed up and decided she was going to look. 30 seconds later, there's the bracelet. Meanwhile, Erica J and I sat on the couch sunburned and wicked hungover. I told her I would have made out with her I was so happy she found it, maybe I was still a little drunk. Thankfully, she declined.

Sunday, March 06, 2005

What makes me laugh every time

Random memories: following are two memories that I can't help but crack up every time I envision them. Like picture me with tears streaming down my face when I tell these stories and nobody else knows why they're so funny, but I can picture them and they're still hysterical.
  1. Last February, a certain Ma I know was celebrating her birthday. Now, I know Betsy already touched upon this memory but in light of the upcoming reunion weekend, I have to elaborate. I was talking outside to a certain naval officer and trying to find a reason not to let him drive me home. Betsy had just finished making out with a basketball player or two as I said, "no we are going to walk." Cue Betsy, jumping up and down and screaming "I MADE OUT WITH SAM ADAMS I MADE OUT WITH SAM ADAMS!!!" On a treacherous sidewalk like Thames Street, sure enough she jumped up and down right into a pothole.

"I MADE OUT WITH (thump)... waaaaa my annnnnkle"

The naval officer looked at me with a cocky grin.

"She wan't walk on that ankle, I'll have to give you a ride."

Limp limp limp into one of my more memorable mistakes. But damn, that was funny shit.

2. Jenn was flailing around in her room on her rolly chair and went garral-ing into the hallway. She worked up some speed across her room and headed for Erica's.... (thwack) Chair tipped over, Jenn everywhere. Yeaaaa she forgot the small incline in Erica's doorway and lay sprawled there while I tried not to pee myself.



You always know what's best for me....

I just want to say to all of you who have more influence over me than is probably right....thank you so much for convincing me to come up for St. Patty's! The thought of "leaving on a jet plane" on Friday is going to be all that gets me through this week! I hate to be like this on the blog...but I'm going to skip the random memory this turn because I've had a rough weekend (yes, I know, I should have listened to you all from the beginning) and my only memory is not one that I think anyone wants to remember. On a happier note, Erica J just reminded me of the Dixon St. Hotel our last few nights in Newport. I have never enjoyed roomies so much as the weekend that EVERYONE lived at 36 Dixon! I mean, Erica completly moved in, Mia even stayed for a night or 2. Erica and Erica's Moving Company had it's last stint, and then we all headed to Mermer's for beer and wings!

I heart the IA

I went to a bar last night with a bunch of my friends "the Cue and Brew" for some reason when the boys told me we were going there I made a puking not sure why though because if anyone I know ever went to this bar im almost positive that they would say "wow i bet erica would love this place" i showed up in a teeshirt jeans and sneakers and was almost overdressed I learned to play darts played pool with the loser of the rock paper scissors match, and then decided that drinking bud light and eating ultimate nachos with chili was more important than looking good in the bathing suit that i bought for miami.

All in all it was a good night and on my way home I got about 7 drunken phone calls.

Newport related memory: There is almost nothing better than walking down the street to the IA in sweat pants sitting at the bar buying a picher of beer and watching the old men hit on Jesse Mesita all night.

Saturday, March 05, 2005

Make room on the bandwagon

Embarassing me in hysterical ways seems to be the tone of the day, so let me save you all some time.

Places Kate has puked:
  • Town Hall on her first day having a 'real job'
  • In her closet, directly in the laundry basket and surrounding areas
  • On a coworker's couch after too many tequila shots
  • On Brian, Dani and probably Jenn and Erica at some point
  • On a Lexus

Probably too embarassing to repeat, but I will:

  • Chased after Joel repeating "you are so hot," puked all night, then kicked her leg through an important press conference and promptly slept in her car at the Tiverton police station parking lot.
  • Dated Josh again (self explanatory)
  • That night someone in her room was 'heard' throughout the house when he really shouldn't have been there in the first place... the next day she fell asleep in the fridge at work and called Jenn and Erica from the payphone and said "Oh my God, Oh my God, Oh my God."
  • On her giddy 22nd birthday in New Orleans, a still drunk Kate (and Erica, for that matter) told strangers on the airport shuttle that if she were on death row, she would request Popeye's chicken and mashed potatoes as her last meal.

That oughtta tide you over.

Ode to Kate too

Since the current theme seems to be ode to Kate in honor of her birthday, I would also like to be involved in the roasting.

Kate's 19th birthday was spent on spring break in this country that is 50% tundra...If you said "What is Canada?" You are absolutly right. She dinned with good friends at one of her favorite places: The Hard Rock, and was even hit on by a canadian.

Kate's 20th was spent in complete anihilation and with a Canadian mission to make out with every one in the country. Although Kate's mission was unsuccesful, she made a vallient attempt, finishing the night having made out with approximaly 1/3 of Canadas population.

Kate's 21st birtday was spent on spring break in Punta Cana. This was no leisure trip folks. Kate spent her entire birthday week as an ambassador having ...err...I mean improving forgien relations. Upon her return she celebrated her birthday on the homefront by attending the St. Patrick's Day festivities at O'Brians Pub. Then she set a world record by swimming across her bedroom floor with 2 passenges (as illustrated in Jenns entery entitled "swimming" and "1")...Then I believe she threw up in her closet...

Kate's 22 was spent on an airplane ride back from New Orleans...I would recount some of the details; however, as stated in the rules and regulations set forth by the spring-breakers in attendence: what happens in new orleans stays in new orleans.

I can hardly wait to see whats in store for 23!

Swimming Posted by Hello

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