Sunday, December 25, 2005

Merry Christmas to all of you 20 Narry-iers. Oh I remember coming over for the Very Tacky 20 Narry Christmas. Right?

Friday, December 09, 2005

Shock me, shock me, shock me Posted by Picasa

Tuesday, November 29, 2005

Newport news

Oh the poor Wave! "Car crashes into Newport statue".

Funny side note, I think it took me all of freshman year before I realized it was a statue of feet in a wave. To be honest, I never really looked at it. Even during all those times I waited for the Loser Cruiser at the post office.

Monday, November 28, 2005

Reason #5236 that proves I teach in hicksville...

Today is opening day for hunting season, therefor I have off.

Wednesday, November 23, 2005

Turkey-lurkey

Happy Thanksgiving all!


Sorry long time no post. I'll make sumthin' up for you all before the weekend is done.

Friday, November 11, 2005

OH GOD ILL POST

Last week I got hit and run. Yesterday was my birthday. Thanks for all the well wishes. Right now I am on my way out to the Mirabar to celebrate with the fags. NOW FOR THE LOVE OF ALL THAT IS GOOD STOP POSTING PICTURES OF THAT CAT!!

P.S. I have it on good faith that there is a certain 20 Narry resident that has not checked the blog in about 4 months.... but I am not pointing any fingers!!

Reunion weekend suckaaaaaaaaaas??

Thursday, November 10, 2005

sending kitten pictures till someone else posts... Posted by Picasa
















Monday, October 31, 2005

My new boyfriend, Mike Jones Posted by Picasa

Saturday, October 29, 2005

Brit and K-Fed made an appearance in Nashville, baby and ugly chihuaua in tow.  Posted by Picasa

Sunday, October 16, 2005

Poetry and other things

So, Friday night I went to this poetry open mic night. It was in the ghetto kind of, over near Popeye's (yesssss). I didn't get up and drop some rhymes or anything, nor did I snap at any time. But it opened me up to this whole world I have been missing for years. And I'm not really even talking about poetry.

The room was filled with beautiful, thug lookin men. They just looked like any other dudes in the neighborhood, until they got onstage. They talked about things that mean something. One guy's poem talked about not being from a broken home, because he never had one. Another's, his name was Church. He's a real big dude with long dreads and glasses. His poem was about abortion and even as someone who's relatively pro-choice, I almost cried. But let's not get emotional and lose focus here. Hot black dudes that bring some deep shit?

HE-LLO! Where has this been all my life!?

Instead of throwing up gang signs or running around screaming GGGGG Unit, they hollered out NPG.... Nashville Poetry Group. POETRY! Almost sounds lame, but it was cute.

Then, I remembered I was there on a date and tried to stop my roving eye. Luckily, he turned out to be one of the best ones.

Saturday, October 15, 2005

SORRY

Wow! A 20 Narry blog?!?! Why didn't anyone tell me about this???

I feel disconnected from the world... I have to get a wireless internet card and until then I am internet-less. And of course, Erica's computer crashed so that leaves us even more stranded. I can't really think of anything good to blog about... well Kate came home and we had a good time. And by good time, I mean we all ran around Aidan's wasted until Erica and I stole Kate's phone and called a taxi... we proceeded on to the motel 6 where Kate and I ordered pizza, got it all over the bed and passed out to Erica yelling, "Why are you two leaving me all alone in this pizza covered BED!!!"

We should plan on getting together to do something soon. What is everyone doing for New Years? We also have to go to Tennessee again together.

Other then that, my life is pretty good right now.... including one of my 26 first graders who now refuses to call me anything other than cupcake.

Thursday, October 13, 2005

Why you should blog...

Reason 1:
It gives people something productive to do while at work:

Alicole116: i must say, im quite glad you and the 20 narry girls are back to blogging because that's what entertains me when im bored at work

Tuesday, October 11, 2005

New writing prompt:

What was your favorite class at Salve? Why? Obviously I'm not talking educational value or anything. I'm thinking along the lines of the class that brought you the most amusement and/or was totally ridiculous. Be creative...you're all good at that!

The class that comes to my head right away, 2 of you were actual in with me. And I don't mean and education class with Erica and Jenn. Every freshman had to take moral thinking, and I found myself in class with Erica J and Kate. Only I didn't know them at the time. It was day one of class, Kate hadn't entered our lives yet and Erica J lived upstairs, only I didn't know it at the time. I believe we happened to sit near each other by accident though. Anywho...I walk into class, sit, and in walks the professor. Dr. Cowdin. Well, for an older man, I think you would all agree that he's pretty good looking, leather elbow-patches aside. Besides the not bad looking prof, the mix of students in the class was what really made the class memorable. There was "Jesus", with the dreads. He always had something to say and was ready to play devil's advocate at the drop of a hat. And then there was the girl who liked to argue with "Jesus" and Dr. Hot (as he was affectionately called behind his back by the choir). Everyday she would point out that she was an atheist before making any statement. "I don't believe in God, and I've never looked at a Bible so..." The three of them had interesting conversations. And then there was Tom Valentine. You couldn't get him to shut up. He just liked to hear himself talk...never really had anything valuable to say, but it definitely gave us something to laugh about on the way back to Miley. Once Kate got comfortable, she would speak up too, and always had great things to say. I always admired her for speaking out because I always had something to say, but was still too shy to speak up about how I felt. Funny how things change...
Top 10 clues I work in hicksville...

7. I pass cows on my way to work
6. There is a fertilizer packaging plant not 5 minutes from my school
5. My students live on farms and have horses
4. Dirt biking through corn fields is the only thing for kids to do
3. They say they're cousins, and really mean it
2. Highlight of the year: Wal-Mart opened in town
1. I almost hit an Amish horse and buggy the other morning

Sunday, October 09, 2005

Why you should all move to the South

Yesterday, I had such an "i love the south" day. Honestly, they're infrequent. I really like living here, but it's rare that I LOVE living here. But yesterday, I had two assignments: go to a gathering of Hurricane Katrina evacuees and talk to Louisiana State fans about yesterday's game against Vanderbilt.
At the evacuee gathering, I met several interesting characters. There was a woman who had suffered so much abuse in her life and felt blessed to end up in Tennessee. She got her very first birthday cake in the shelter. She hugged me about 8 times. Then there were these college students who were from Nashville but went to college in New Orleans. We all know that college is more like home than home... they wanted to go HOME. Then there was a slam poet talking about being left to die in New Orleans, the joke that is FEMA and smoking cigarettes just to get the taste of the flooded city from his mouth. And of course, how he felt when he found out that plane he got on was going to Nashville... "Woo, hoo, we're gon' meet Willie Nelson! And Dolly Parton, who I'd like to hug."
Then, on to LSU fans... now, having gone to Salve, we don't really know anything about college team loyalty. But yesterday this whole city was packed with people who drove 6, 8, even 16 hours for the game. I barely even saw any Vanderbilt fans, and they're the home team. I met a guy who hasn't missed an LSU game, home or away, for 24 years. He lost three homes and his business, everything he owns, in the hurricane. But he wasn't about to miss a party.
In short, these Southerners know what's important. It's not stuff. It's being alive... and a good party.

P.S. Love to hear what y'all are doin. :)

Monday, September 12, 2005

my favorite nashville memory

Three words: "Bubba's Bacholor Party"

Sunday, September 11, 2005

I heart Nashville

When I told people I was going to Nashville, some asked why I would want to go there, but the ones who knew me the best understood the importance. "It will be like your homecoming!" one friend even commented. I loved it all, and we squeezed as much as we could into a few short days, and don't ever let her say that she didn't also love the Country Music Hall of Fame. But out of everything that we did, my absolute favorite was the Honkey Tonks and all the live music. You could go into a bar at 3:00 in the afternoon and someone was there performing. I loved the music, I loved the people, I loved EVERYTHING! I also have to say that the Wild Horse Saloon was great, and Kate and I didn't miss the opportunity to learn a line dance with the rest of the crowd!

Fast Food Fantasy

First of all, I would like to point out that Erica MUST have been drunk when she posted her blog because there is no possible way there could have been that many horrible misspellings. Now, Nashville may be a lot of things, but it is definitely the fattest city-or else it should be because of all the fast food restaurants they have. From White Castle and Popeyes to steak, pancakes and ice cream, they had it all-and we ate it. We even had a free steak dinner. However, my favorite memory of Nashville wasn't the food, or the Parthenon (which was amazing), or the fact that Kate and I were the hottest bitches on the street wherever we went, or those AMAZING honkeytonk bars (note: sarcasm), Loretta Lynn's dude ranch, or even the projects. No, my favorite memory was definitely getting those guys numbers who were 17 driving around Nashville at 2 am and meeting them at White Castle for some decent burgers and great conversation about Cambodians, the secret service, and how long it would take them to drive to RI to visit.

Hello, my loves

Well, off I go then.

But, I'd love for you all to do the following writing prompt for me to read when I get baaaack...

Since three of you have been out here already, tell me.

What is your best Nashville moment/story?

Saturday, September 10, 2005

my little girl is growing up!

I just want to take this opportunity to congradulate kate! She is a REAL reporter althouh her litterary talents and nose for news were clear to me and all of you years ago, others are finnaly starting to recognize it. Kate is being sent on a real Lois Lane-type 3 day story to mississippi on a carivan of vollunteers bringing animal supplies to the victims of hurricane katrina....the last woman who went into a hurricane disaster area with supplies from the tennisean brought her own pistol!

im sure kate will have a lot to blog about when she gets back

Sunday, September 04, 2005

"never take sides against the family"

Yesterday I was planning on going to what I thought was going to be a Bozzuto family Labor Day BBQ....I shouldn't have even been surprised at how mistaken I was.

You think we know how to throw a party?!? This was the most wonderfully rediculous display of celebration that I have ever seen in my life. John's family is not playing around. They take partying seroiusly.

John's family owns a waste disposal company and this Labor Day extravaganza was held on what they call "the compound" It is a giant plot of land perfect for throwing unbelieveable parties....but to call what I witnessed yesterday a party is a vast understatement.

We walked onto the compound to see about 3 acres of parking I would say that the size of the parking lot was just a tiny bit too small to hire a shuttle to take guests from the lot to the party. When we finally got past the parking lot we walked into what looked to be a fair grounds. There was a live band, a giant inflateable titanic slide, a moon-walk obsticle course, a rock wall, a dunk tank, and hay rides.

We were all starving so we went over to get some hamburgers and hot dogs under the 40 foot pavillion that John's dad and uncles had constructed just for the party...then we got drinks at the full bar with ice luge and went to get some seats.

After about our third round of drinks, some vodka soaked cherries, and a few jello shots a man walked by us with a plate of raw clams (from the raw clam bar) for his wife. When she told him to hold them while she got a drink, he responded with a Danny Devito-esc "MADON' what a set on this one...hold em" i can not do the comment justice without flailing my arms and using a thick brooklyn accent.

About 30 seconds later another man looking like he was straight out of the sopranos ran over, cupped his hands to his mouth and yelled "10 MINUTES TILL THE DEMOLITION DERBY!" Johns two friends from school and I looked at him in a he cant possibly be serious kind of way. John seemed unphased "oh yeah of course theres always a demolition derby" i guess that would explain the fire trucks.

For those of you who have never wittnessed a demolition derby, it is like real life bummper cars...the last car moving wins...in this case a $10,000 prize unfortunatly the event was cut short when john's uncle's engine caught on fire and the firefighters had to jump in.

At one point Robert Deniro, johns uncle, put his arom around me and pointed to the brise on my arm...."if johnny lays a hand on you bambina, you come and tell me right away understand" i figured that i better be carful about making jokes or i might have just gotten my boyfriend "whacked" so i just told him i would and thank you

later there was a catered dinner and a pig roast johns grandfather took a few turns on the ice luge and then kissed johns friend kim on the lips. Then of course the $40,000 fireworks dysplay put on by johns uncles who are of coursed licenced pyrotechnics.

John Kim Cooter and I ended the night with a bang when we stole the golf cart and drove it all over the grounds at top speed.

i will probably never be at another party like that again ....until next labor day of course

Saturday, September 03, 2005

in late response to the writing prompts:

i do not have any regrets from college

and

you all know that my favorite room in 20 narry was any room that everyone was in (except for christmas time then my favorite room was the living room becuase of the very tacky christmas theme)

and

not my favorite set of drunk memories, but some that jenn just recently reminded me of...

i always enjoyed taking a flying leap onto jenns bed (with her in it) while trying to avoid a male in my house who was the friend of someone kate was hooking up with....as a wingman i will only go so far for a friend

immmm baaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaack

Ohmigod....how can any of you even still be talking to me....I haven't bloged in MONTHS
we'll you can attribute that to the fact that I am a technologically special girl! I lost my username and password and couldnt figure out how to get it back until just now.

is anyone surprised?

in other news:
my life is good...probably almost too good....it's good to the point that im asking myself "what is going to happen in the near future to fuck this up?"

I have a wonderful boyfriend, a new (old) roomie, an excellently behaved class of second graders who love me so far, a teacher's assistant who is a volunteer and comes in every day to do everything that i dont want to/dont have time to do without me having to ask her, a school curriculum that tells me exactly what to do and how to do it, and i am actually getting along with my family pretty well.

aside from the fact that gas is rounding $300.00 a gallon (which is not terrible considering i have a new roomie to commute to work with) i dont really have much to complain about which is good for me but doesn't make for very interesting blogging.

This blog is to be followd by one about the shit storm that is to be unleashed on me in the next month because of the unbelieveable summer and beginning of school ive had.

Tuesday, August 30, 2005

My mistakes (hope you have an hour)

My mistakes. Ha ha ha. I'll start from most obvious to least obvious for all you brainiacs.

1) #1 and 2, 4-7, 9-11. If you know what I mean.

2) not agreeing with Jenn and Erica that we should all live together in Newport for one more year. especially since I'm the only one who ended up staying. although if we had stayed, House wouldn't have been. There's an interesting ad in the newport daily news this week for a housesitter, p.s.

3) f

4) Never telling My Husband that I was madly in love with him even though he had that girlfriend with the stupid bangs

5) not trying harder to get Betsy drunk sooner

and lastly, my biggest mistake was spending even a minute thinking I should've transferred or that all my student loans aren't worth it. Because I didn't spend too much time studying. I definitely spent as much time as I could having fun. Really, I wouldn't change a thing.

Except 7. I'd definitely take back seven.

Mistakes...

Mistakes? Who makes mistakes in college?

My list:

1. Being mad at Kate for even 5 minutes when she said she was moving in with Erica
2. Not listening to Kate and Erica more when they said, come out with us! freshman year
3. Moving into Hunt and not Reefe, and not listening when they said "COME OVER!"
4. Not hanging out with Erica J more in Hunt
5. Caring too much about what my mom thought 350 miles away
6. Not hanging out with my cousin more when I had the chance
7. Not trying harder to get Jenn to move in with me freshman year after the crazy girl was sent home
8. Spending so much time working on and stressing about those damn teaching portfolios
9. Spending so much time on any class related work
10. Never spending a summer in Newport
11. Not writing the book of our college lives...but it's not too late for that, and this blog is a good start!

Looks like the theme of my list is all about not working so much and having more fun. That is what college is all about isn't it??


PS-Where have you all gone!?!?! Writing prompts were supposed to promote blogging, not stop it!

Sunday, August 28, 2005

The end was near...

I'm having a really hard time coming up with a new favorite drunk 20 narry memory that I havn't already posted about! Oooh! Flash of inspiration....

We graduated...after 4 years of fun, it was time to say goodbye to Salve, and 20 narry. But we were prepared to go down in style...with a week of BBQs using the homemade fire pit in the backyard. The boys grilled, the girls ate, and we all drank. We also downed one of my Nanny's blueberry cakes in a matter of minutes, and followed it with a batch of her molasses cookies. And finally, after 2 years of partying like rockstars, the cops came to shut us down. They realized we had just graduated and were celebrating, and they really didn't have a problem with is, but it was a week night, so please move it inside. If they had to come back, they were going to have to give us a warning. So, we took the show inside, it was raining anyway, and continued the celebration.

My favorite drunk memory, you say?

Wow. There are so many things I would like to write about. Many of my drunk "memories" are actually reconstructions of what people told me happened though, so as a journalist, I'll just go with one I remember experiencing firsthand.

Schrabotnik came to visit, and we were all a-twitter with the news. It had been almost a year since that crazy fuck was in town, and he did not disappoint. Although slimmer, wearing glasses and acting intelligent, he was still the same ridiculous Schrabotnik.

He was with Patty at the time, I think. We didn't really know her yet, and Schrabotnik brought her over. We were all pretty wasted, and he handed out a bunch of our beers to everyone and ran around with scissors, poking holes in the side and making us shotgun them. I didn't really get how to do it, so beer was flying everywhere. He decided the shotgunning wasn't interesting enough. He grabbed a fresh Coors Light, shook it up and cracked it open, spraying it all over me and the kitchen. Surprisingly, Erica was a little concerned about this-- and surprisingly, I was not. I began stomping around in the ankle deep beer, hair dripping wet and clothes full of brew. Schrabotnik threw out a "Let's hear it for Patty!" And I stood there with a Coors river running through my own kitchen and I splashed in it, clapping and yelling "Patty, Patty, Patty!"
Erica came running out of the bathroom with this ridiculous mop, I grabbed it from her and tried to mop it up. Shcrabotnik basically pulled a 'Welp, see you later' and took off. The next morning, Erica was furiously mopping, wringing, mopping and wringing a pretty deep river of beer in the kitchen. Hank-O and the clan were on their way over.

Next question!

What's one (or 9!) mistake from college you would take back if you could?

Friday, August 26, 2005

Let's Play

The downstairs bathroom. Not only was it loaded with bottles, but we all hooked up with at least one person there, everyone used it, there were more amazing drunk heart-to-hearts there then anywhere else on the planet, that picture of us laughing at all male peers was there... and oh yeah... it used to have a mirror till that time I broke it (sorry Kate).

For when you are ready to do another topic (warning-much thinking required)..........

Give the best drunk memory you have from 20 Narry. Try your hardest. Describe in detail.

I may be able to come up with a better one later, but one of the top 5 on my list is Halloween senior year when we furiously took Tequila shots while dressed as P.I.M.P.s, proceded to whack each other with our pimp sticks before walking 25 miles to Jamie's house where we all made respective asses of ourselves because we all three were so drunk we couldn't even see. Cut to the next morning when 2 toilets+3 roomies does not equal fun. But the pictures are a lot of fun.

Thursday, August 25, 2005

Why? Because I like you

I've gotta be honest. I miss when we used to blog every day.

So, I've been thinking about perks that might get you all to write more. I contemplated a strip show reward, then remembered I'm 1,200 miles away without a Web cam. I thought about offering goodies, but I am broke. So here's where I ended up.

Honestly, I can't believe all my blogging teacher friends haven't started this. In a small way it's been done, but I think it should be done daily.

Writing prompts! Duh!

OK, I'll start. What was your favorite room in 20 narry and why?

While the bathroom's dirty deeds and the sleepovers on Erica's floor can't be overlooked, I have to say I always loved the living room most. Even in the winter when we had to cuddle under my electric blanket in tundra conditions, it was the only place we could all sit together (upright, that is).

I'd come home every day and bounce up the steps on the porch and peek into the window, that window Jenn broke into that time, to see who was on the couch. Often it was Betsy or Brian or Shaun.. or Shaun's guitar and amplifier, but no Shaun in sight. It was the first place I saw my friends when I got home and the first place people crashed when they came in the unlocked door to our house. And, of course, The Head lived there.


YOUR TURRRRRRRRRN

Sunday, August 21, 2005

I wanna rock and roll all nite...

So I was driving down the road with Kelly, and we were doing a little station surfing on the radio, and suddenly I heard....

"I WANNA ROCK AND ROLL ALL NITE, AND PARTY EVERYDAY!"

Suddenly I was grinning like a fool, and Kelly asked me what I was so happy about. So I shared with her this random memory:

One weekend in November junior year, before anyone was 21, we were celebrating Jenn's b-day. It was a big occassion, and she invited her cousin from URI. So he shows up with a few friends, and we spend the evening drinking and playing taboo. A few hours later, Kate and I are sitting in a chair, the boys are on the couch, and suddenly someone mentions Jewel and apparently Jenn's cousin was a Jewel fan. Suddenly, Kate and I break out in song...
Who will saaaaaaaaa-ve your soul if you won't save your own?

Cue Ian, "Why are you singing Jewel when there are such better bands, like KISS?"

"I wanna rock and roll all nite!" -Kate and I sing

This little comment instigates an intense discussion on who is better, Jewel or Kiss. Jenn's cousin and Ian went at it for a good 30 minutes arguing the contributions both have made to music. In the mean time, Kate and I sat in the chair on the sidelines, singing songs by the artists.

"These foolish games are tearing me appart"
"I wanna rock and roll all nite...."
"My hands are small I know..."
"I wanna rock and roll all nite...."
"You were meant for me, and I was meant for you"
"I wanna rock and roll all nite...."

Needless to say, we could come up with the words to almost every Jewel song anyone knows, but only one by Kiss, which became a major argument in favor of Jewel. I don't know that the argument was ever resolved, but the picture in my head of Ian and Jenn's cousin arguing, while Kate and I sang in the background is a memory I will never forget! So Kiss or Jewel? Discuss...

Tuesday, August 16, 2005

and... we ate

Gail came down this weekend, and in true "us" fashion, we ate all there was to eat in Music City.

We did the fast food- Popeyes chicken and biscuits, little White Castle burgers. We did the southern thing- pulled pork and burgers. And, lest I forget... we did the upscale romantic thing. We went to the Melting Pot and ate fondue. Man, it was great. All these couples around us delicately dipping their strawberries into their swirls of chocolate... and I smacked myself right in the face with a chocolatey fruit. Gail drank leftover chocolate with a spoon and burned her mouth. And, we nearly peed our pants and ruined the ambience for everyone else but oh man, was that fun.

And, of course, we honkytonked. We hit up several bars and chatted up a couple (wannabe) cowboys. And, I borrowed her shirt feeling all proud of myself because it was cute... and I broke the strap. Oof. Picture me even wearing a strapless bra in the first place then picture me after one of the straps busts.

I HEART NASHVILLE AND WELCOME VISITORS :)

Saturday, August 13, 2005

Awful... or GREAT?!?!

$10 a month gym membership for being Erica's cousin.... check.
Big hair.... check.
6 inch fake nails.... check.
Obnoxious Italian attitude.... check.
Glock for the first day of school at Roberto Clemente.... check.



Saddle up, North Branford. I'm moving in with the Mentones.

Tuesday, August 09, 2005

Let me sing you a song

This weekend I got a mix cd from a stranger through an exchange on "el jay." I like this girl's style. But there were just a couple of songs I HAD to share with 20 Narry. You may or may not know them but here are the lyrics.

Few Drinks to Fall in Love
by Gavin DeGraw

You don't understand my jokes
You're burning my eyes with your smoke
If I wasn't alone, I'd ask you to move away
So I order up another round
Sipping my last one down
You're the best deal in town
And I've only got dreams to dream of
Sometimes you need a few drinks to fall in love

If you need a few drinks
You might as well start with a couple of shots
Give a couple of winks
And later blame it all on the buzz
Sometimes you need a few drinks

And this year burned a hole in my hope
I got debts that could choke out a rope, (spoken)like college,
And it's not my approach it's the way I go summing things up
And there ain't really nothing great about this bar
Except here I am and right there you are
We're both shooting way under par
But soon we'll forget what par was
Sometimes you need a few drinks to fall in love

If you need a few drinks
You might as well start with a couple of shots
Give a couple of winks
And later blame it all on the buzz
Sometimes you, Sometimes you,
Sometimes you, you need a few,
You need a few, you need a few,
I'll buy you one too, Drinks

32 Flavors
By Alana Davis
Squint your eyes and look closer
I'm not between you and your ambition
I am a poster girl with no poster
I am 32 flavors and then some

And I'm beyond your peripheral vision
So you might want to turn your head
Cause someday you're going to get hungry
And eat all of the words that you just said

I am what I am
I am 32 flavors and then some

God help you if you are an ugly girl
Course too pretty is also your doom
Cause everyone harbors a secret hatred
For the prettiest girl in the room
God help you if you are a phoenix
And you dare to rise up from the ash
A thousand eyes will smolder with jealousy while
You are just flying past

I am what I am
I am 32 flavors and then some
I'm taking my chances as they come
I am 32 flavors and then some
I'm nobody but I am someone
Someone, yeah

I'd never try to give my life meaning by
Demeaning you
And I would like to state for the record
I did everything that I could do

I am beyond your peripheral vision
So you might want to turn your head
Cause someday you're going to be starving
And eating all of the words that you just said
That you said

I am what I am I am what I am
I am 32 flavors and then some
I'm taking my chances as they come
I am 32 flavors and then some
I'm looking for truth but there is none

Monday, August 08, 2005

The Womb

Recently, I made a little excursion to North Branford, home of silly putty...and Erica Mentone. After a perfect day consisting of the beach, beer and wings, we headed back to Erica's house. I walked into Erica's room and saw something I hadn't seen in almost a year. It was the WOMB! Oh the countless hours spent in the womb. I just had to climb in..right after I emptied it naturally. I climbed in, and suddenly found myself lying on the floor. The womb had dumbed me out as if I were a newborn. Erica and I looked at each other in disbelief for a moment thinking, did the womb really just dump her out like that? And then we cracked up, and took pictures for posterity.

Shot out of the womb Posted by Picasa
I never thought I would be saying this, but...

I CAN"T WAIT FOR MY PARENTS TO GET HOME!!!

My parents have been married for 25 years, which is a great accomplishment in this day and age. So to celebrate they went on an Alaskan cruise that my mom has talked about wanting to do basically her whole life. So, when they asked, I said sure, it would be no problem for me to be around while they were gone to supervise the house and my siblings. I will never take my mom for granted again. My siblings are some of the laziest slobs I have ever seen...and I lived in Miley. They are also not always that bright. Case in point...my brother just set fireworks off in the kitchen.

So, normally I'm all about my parents not being around during the summer so I can have some alone time. This time, I was so excited that it was Monday, and their flight was getting in at 11 tonight. Then...the phone call...

"Bets? It's Dad...um, we've been delayed in Vancouver and we're going to miss our connecting flight....and...um, I don't think we're going to make it home tonight."

Sure Dad, that's fine, I said outloud. Inside I was freaking out. So, at this point, stay tuned, will my parents make their flight and get home tonight, relieving me of my responsibilities? Will my siblings be alive if they get home tomorrow? Stay tuned...

Friday, August 05, 2005

R.I.P. Warwick

Wanted: roomie to live in the glorious section of New Haven entitled "West Haven", ghetto yet safer then living in downtown New Haven, famous not for its lemon ice and glocks but for its beautiful pollouted beaches and views of the New Haven Register and Ikea from 95 South. Just minutes from New York City and Bridgeport, CT. Must love hamsters that bite on occassion (ok it was only that one time). Prefer a roomie that has a boyfriend she is dying to have sex with any chance she can get but can't cause she lives at home. If no takers apply, offer will be recinded and person searching for a roomie will be taking a previous offer to live in a basement in North Branford, CT.

Last year when we all swore that we were not going to move home, that's exactly what we all did-Kate and Erica the wanderers included, who I thought for sure were going to jet off to someplace fabulous together leaving me behind cause I refuse to leave Rhode Island. BUT that's not what happened and we all went home to our respective locations. When I got home I was like, ahh-this is nice, I don't have to pay for anything anymore, I have no responsibilities except to work, I can see all my friends from home that I missed a lot-but that wore off right around the time that summer ended. My friends from home that graduated this year didn't come home, they all got jobs in great places like NYC and Enfield, CT (awful... or great?) I knew that every single one of us were not happy being home even if we acted like we were but it seemed like we were all trapped once we got there. We didn't even try to act like super seniors and stay in Newport for another year yogether (House doesn't count)! We all basically freaked out and were like oh god we all have to go home and grow up and get jobs and live with our parents and save money. What happened to how fun we were? Who decided that we had to grow up the second we left school? I know we all needed the money but if we weren't us, we'd want to be us... right? First, I have to congratulate Kate and Erica J. for being the first two to leave the nest, because you two prove that we can still be our old selves plus a little new self if we try. Second, I say, AHEM to everyone else at home including me, what are you assholes doing?!?! Get the hell outta there!

Now, you may say, isn't THAT the pot calling the kettle black. Who ever would have thought it would be ME coming out with all this-the same girl who made Kate take the RIPTA bus home with her freshman year because I couldn't stand being out of Warwick for another second. Well, how better to lead then by example? (Kate you better print this post and laminate it, btw).

Yup I'm moving you bitches. Of all the ones that weren't going anywhere after graduation no one thought it would be me to get up and go somewhere. Ok, New Haven isn't like moving to TENNESSEE but um, hello, this is still me we are talking about here. Granted, "New Haven baby! We gets down baby!" doesn't roll off the tongue like Warwick but I guess it will have to do. But if all else fails and things don't pan out like I want (read: if I have a major freak out both before and after the interview and cry for 5 hours like the last time) I am gonna go to NYC with my stinky hamster. I'm worried about living my myself, because I'll probably sit around with my tail wagging all the time waiting for someone to play with (I don't know if you guys noticed... but we're not exactly the we can live alone type). But if I HAVE to I guess I will. Plus, I plan on having so much fun all the time I won't be there that much anyway.

Thursday, August 04, 2005

Ahe-he-HEM

Excuse me, if I may.

But, aren't we all in some kind of transition here? Right? I mean, we're all starting new jobs or looking for new jobs or learning new things about the birds and the bees, right?

So, why are only me and Erica J. blogging? Is it an English major thing? Because, I mean, I don't think so. 'Cuz we've had almost 200 entries since this thing began like 6 months ago. So uh, hello?

GOD, at least make comments so Erica J. and I can feel like you're paying attention!

Oh, the places you'll go!

This post is dedicated to the TOP TEN fun things me and Jenn are going to do when she comes to Nashville in like two weeks.

10) Go to the honky tonk bars and watch Jenn interact with Redneck Women (that one should be worth the trip alone)

9) After said honky tonk bars, get a taxi driver to take us on a tour of all the fast food joints that stay open for 24 hours- Jack in the Box, White Castle, Krystal... I know what you're saying, Jenn. Are these fast food restaurants or children's toys? Rest assured, they have chicken. But KFC will NOT still be open, Jenn, so keep your clothes on and don't ask.

8) We will cherish the expressions on the faces of the professional karaoke crowd out here when we put it down with "Magic Stick"

7) I will drive Jenn through the projects early in the morning so she can see them. Then, I will patiently explain to her that WE CANNOT GO THERE AT NIGHT FOR FUN! THEY SHOOT PEOPLE!

6) We will spoon on my aero mattress, albeit down a Guat :-( , and this time folks, my new roommate will NOT be having sex in the same room! Sorry for all you thrill seekers.

and the number one fun thing me and Jenn are going to do in Nashville in two weeks when she comes:

1) you think I'm going to give it up that easy? Ha! You'll have to come to find out for yourselves! OK, granted that two of you already came and it's only been three weeks but CAN'T YOU ALL JUST MOVE HERE?!?!

Sunday, July 31, 2005

Move over, JFB

I've found Erica's soulmate. He's a big dork and he videotapes himself dancing to 80s-early 90s rap songs, assisted by white socks and an exercise ball. His 'wave' isn't as good as yours, Erica.

http://dailydancer.com

Seriously, check him out. I ain't got nuttin on this brotha.

Of all the random things

I am sitting at my computer, waiting for my brother to call so we can make plans to go see Charlie and the Chocolate Factory, reading the links at the MSN homepage when I come across this: "West Coast girl's Big Apple blog"

Well obviously I like reading blogs so I figured why not see how it got linked on MSN's website. I clicked to the page and kind of browsed around, not really reading just looking what was there. A rather large headshot of this women Alexandra draws most of your attention. There is a slide show in the bottom left corner that I flip through: Summer in the City - Fourth of July - London - Paris - Newport, RI.

There are just a few pictures of NPT and nothing truly great. She made a little post on her trip too.

Saturday, July 30, 2005

Welcome to Tennessee

Well, here I am.

Moved to Nashville.

Yep.

Honestly, the only thing I need to discuss right now is the insect situation. I have seen my first cockroach. I am pretty sure this is because of the heat and Nashville's status as the fifth buggiest city; not because I live in a slum, which I don't. Or even because we leave food out, because we don't. Although, Stella does suspect putting dirty dishes in the dishwasher as a culprit- she'd prefer to use it for clean ones, but I explained to her the whole process and she seemed a little skeptical but agreed to try.

Another progressive breed is the gotcha bug. It's skinny and jumps fast. I slam it hard with my favorite flip flop. Then I take off for a paper towel to dispose of its lifeless body only to find it shaking off our fight and standing up again. Thought I was dead, huh? Gotcha!

Anyway, good thing I spent all that time in Miss M's spider-y house. Oh, who am I kidding, I still couldn't sleep last night thinking about roaches. But I've only actually seen two and they are both dead now, so don't let that sway you from coming to visit or anything.

But overall, good city!

Monday, July 25, 2005

My j-o-b

Woman's legs jumping in yellow shoes


That is one of the posters adorning my very own cubicle at work. The other poster I couldn't find an image for on the Corbis website (that is one of the stock photo companies we work with) - it features Andre 3000. I'm jealous that two of my coworkers got to Will Ferrell before I did. The poster in the makeshift hall outside my cubicle features a construction site with a sign saying "No Dumping." It faces a poster of a toilet fastened to the wall.

Yep a toilet as decoration for a work place. We get to be "creative" like that in Photo Research. Really it just means we get to act immature. My department is all fairly young and they have just undergone a change so many of us are new to the company and in various degrees of training. We can wear jeans and flip flops to work, listen to Ipods while surfing our computer databases for pictures like "A chicken has a beak" or "Make sure to wear sunglasses on sunny days to protect your eyes." (I've been working on a lot of K-2 books, haha). We take field trips around the building and to the library as part of our training.

It's not hard work but some concepts can be a challenge to find for the right price, that the designer/editor likes. This week alot of the projects I took over from the girl who left are nearing their due dates so I'm really busy all day. I am also setting up my first shoot with a group of kindergarteners for a series on conservation.

Basically I feel like I am back in school, only getting paid to be there and never doing homework.

I <3 The Fug Girls

Please tell me you guys know about Go Fug Yourself, I discovered the site this spring and I can't remember if I've seen it mentioned on the blog, but it's just too good not to share.

The above link is talking about Molly Stanton, better known as Charity from the soap opera Passions. I remember freshman year that a handful of girls on the 3rd floor in Miley watched Passions, including Erin, Jenny and Crystal. Many inside jokes and random fits of laughter came forth because of that show. I have no idea how its remained on the air as long as it has, it's completely absurd. And absurd for a soap opera is pretty damn bad. And RIP Timmy the strange midget sidekick.

The job update to follow in about 2 minutes. Also we need to update our bios!

Thursday, July 14, 2005

Ok...I'll post

A little ditty I call..."How I spent my summer vacation" (In words and pictures)

It all started out with an 8 hour road trip with my brother and sister to Maine. We learned a few things on the way...you will get wierd looks if you perform a Chinese fire drill in the middle of traffic on 84 in Conn and contrary to popular believe, NH is NOT a firework friendly state.

Once in Maine we spent the next few days doing what all good grandkids do when visiting their grandparents...eating them out of house and home. Quality time was spent with the cousins at the beach. I discovered a great new drinking game...Apples to Apples. If you've never played you should really check it out. And when I say drinking game, I mean Caitlin and I sat around drinking while our young, impressionable cousins/siblings watched.

Soon it was time for Caitlin, AJ, and I to head off to Boston to meet up with our Cali cousins for more family fun. This is where the pictures come in...

A night out in Boston with some of the cousins Posted by Picasa

Who doesn't like a red headed slut? Posted by Picasa

Is that AJ dancing with a girl?!?!?! Posted by Picasa

Met up with Kate for a Red Sox game Posted by Picasa

Wells gets tossed from the game Posted by Picasa

Francona gets tossed from the game Posted by Picasa

Spent some time with Johnny and Trot Posted by Picasa

Monday, June 20, 2005

OK, I'll go to Nashville

In case I've kept anyone in suspense...

I realize I spent a good deal of blogging time talking about my job interview in Nashville and then the whole topic dropped off. That was because I was waiting.

I'm waiting no more... I start my new job at The Tennessean on July 18.

News to come for a quickly approaching reunion weekend. Also accepting bookings for visiting me in Nashville. It's going to be a hot summer, folks. :)

Thursday, June 16, 2005

Italian Festival

Last night a bunch of the teachers from school decided to go to the Italian Festival in Wilmington to celebrate the end of the year. Obviously you can't go to an Italian Festival without getting food, so I was standing in line and suddenly I see this couple who look very familiar to me. I do a double take, and realize that they had gone to Salve! Remember Melissa Leone's friend Jenna? The one she used to make out with at Pelham when they were drunk? It was her and that guy she was dating whose name I don't remember. I couldn't believe it! Who knew I would run into Salve kids in Wilmington! Someone made the comment...

"They don't really look like the type of people who would go to your school."
"What kind if people go to my school?" I asked.
"Well, people more like you!"

On the outside, I just smiled. Inside I was screaming, "I AM NOT A SALVE GIRL!!!!" I sat there remembering all the times we had to assure people not from Salve that we were, in fact, NOT the stereotypical "Salve Girl." I couldn't believe that someone who had never even heard of Salve before meeting me could have formed that opinion based only on knowing me and the little I have said about Salve. I almost began doubting my non-salve girl status. It was only for a moment though because then I started to remember those girls who actually did apply to the term, and got over it really quickly.

Monday, June 13, 2005

Something to amuse/distract you all



That's me as a South Park character (0f my own selection).

I know at least Betsy watches South Park (because Brian does). You should all make one at this site: http://www.planearium.de/

It's in Dutch, but on the left you can select Exclusiv and then SP-Studio, and then you can select English for that part. You have to do a screenshot to save it but there are directions in the Help section.

I want to see the rest of you!

Friday, June 10, 2005

interesting blog...

My cousin showed me this blog earlier, and I thought it was kinda interesting so I posted it for you to check out!

http://www.postsecret.blogspot.com/

Thursday, June 09, 2005

It's pop-u-ler

In case any one is interested:

Betsy and I have been reading the book Wicked:The life and times of the Wicked Witch of the West by Gregory Maguire. It's been a topic of frequent coversation during the last week because I sent her songs from the Broadway musical version. I know most of you are busy, but if anyone else cared to read it we could do some sort of book club thing.

One of my favorite songs from the musical is "Popular" and I put the lyrics to it in my own blog. But here is a link if you want to download and enjoy it --

http://s43.yousendit.com/d.aspx?id=2RFI5FS3RODW921XVY3PNUCFZA

Wednesday, June 08, 2005

Very Good Looking, Damn Smart Woman Day

I have many things to say in this last week at House, but I just don't have the time. I will, however, share with you some chain letter wisdom I recieved from a forward today.

Life should NOT be a journey to the grave with the intention of arriving safely in an attractive and well preserved body, but rather to skid in sideways, chocolate in one hand, wine in the other, body thoroughly used up, totally worn out and screaming...

Damn, what a ride!

Monday, June 06, 2005

Post this bitches

Well I haven't posted because I am too busy crying about the fact that school is over in 2 weeks. That and I am too busy gaining weight and working 70 hour weeks.

Damn you Vera!

Yes it has been over a month since I last made a post (although I do try to keep up by commenting) and my only excuse is that I don't have a life. Oh you might think I'm off being busy and simply don't post because I have no time. That is not the case.

I could have told you about going to cover the spring pow wow or interviewing 8-yr-olds for the Take a Kid Fishing event. My cousin had a baby boy a few weeks ago, my other cousin is getting married and another cousin just delivered a baby Friday night (that brings the total number of people expected for the Holidays from the Johnson clan to 70). I stood in line for the midnight showing of Star Wars Episode III and I'm watching the repeat season of "Lost" since it always interfered with other shows I liked. Only I didn't think all of that would be exciting to read about.

I could make this entry about how I curse the Newport Festival Committee for making this summer's Sunset Music Festival one of the better booked! Why couldn't you have Guster, Anna Nalick, Something Corporate in addition to Ben Folds during the summer I was there? When I went that summer it was only to see Ben Folds, who was thrilling and so much fun.

Instead I'm going to tell you that right now while I was reading my Elle magazine I saw one of those smelly ads for Vera Wang perfume. I peeled back the flap and took a sniff of the Vera Wang, it was lovely and floral, and then of the Vera Wang Sheer Veil, it was mild and fresh. I continued on my reading when I noticed my upper lip was throbbing lightly. Looking in the mirror I found my lip had swelled up like a bee sting. The damn ad gave me an allergic reaction! Therefore I refuse to ever buy anything Vera Wang created (like I could afford it right?).

There that's the kind of brilliant storytelling you can expect from me.

Oh what the FRICK!

Why, why, why hasn't anyone posted in days? Maybe I know why...

Ok I really don't...so start posting already!

Saturday, June 04, 2005

AJ's Birthday

Yesterday was my brother's 21st. So, I took him out as a good big sister should. We started out at Iron Hill, a restaurant where a friend of mine was working and we got a drink or 2 or 3 while waiting for him to be done working. So the bartender finds out it's AJ's birthday, and makes us some good drinks and brings us over some shots of soco and lime a few minutes later (keep in mind what happened the last time I tried to do a straight shot in the kitchen at 20 narry). So we all do our shots, and AJ takes his first shot like a champ. I made it for about 3 minutes...and then there i was face in the toilet. I tried so hard to keep it down, but it's an undisputed fact...I will never be able to do an unmixed shot again! And I am so EMBARASSED for myself, being the only person who puked on my little brother's 21st birthday! But I'm happy to say that despite his hangover this morning, he's ready to go out again tonight and a Newport reunion has to be in the planning because no 21 year old can go without experiencing the bars of Newport!

Sidenote...my fam is going out for fondue tonight :p

Friday, June 03, 2005

I almost cried today...

Speaking of countdowns, I have 14 days until school is done. No more 2nd grade, no more ESL, no more "but Miss Paolozzi, I don't get it. Where IS the Dominican Republic?" No more kids trying to stay in for recess and after school because they don't want to go home and me having to chase them out of the classroom waving my hands around like an asshole going, "GOOD BYE!!!" and making them cry on a daily basis but cracking up like 2 minutes later. The point of no return was today when Roger says, "but Miss Paolozzi, I just don't get it. How come you look more like a teenager than a teacher?" and one of the 1st grade girls goes, "thats cause shes so preeeeeeeeeetty" (just like that... and she has the voice of a 40 year old stripper). Roger just stops, puts his hand on his hip and goes "Bridgette, I think you might be on to something." (It's much cuter in a spanish accent). OHHH DIOS MI OH YO NECESITO ESTOY EN EL PRIMER GRADO CON MIS ESTUDIANTES POR SIEMPRE!!!!

On another note, I went to my summer job yesterday. Within 5 minutes of those kids bratty behaviors I was screaming, "You know what!!! I teach second grade and my kids are better behaved than YOU!!!! HOW SAD IS THIS!!!!!"

Tuesday, May 31, 2005

Let the countdowns begin...

8 student days left until I can wave goodbye. Then I will lie and tell them that I've LOVED having them all in my class this year and I will miss them all so much...except of course the 3 who are being retained. But I'm gonna do everything I can to make sure they're not in MY class next year!

Monday, May 30, 2005

UGH

Big spiders. Antsy fucking dogs. No hot water. Permanently wet clothes.

14 DAYS

Sunday, May 29, 2005

Some recent good (clean?) fun at House Posted by Hello

Spring has sprung, a.k.a. Welcome to the Jungle

Well, spring/summer has sprung here at House. This means all varietals of flowers are in bloom, jasmine and roses and the really high weeds that have taken over the yard. As if it were easy trying to get myself to walk the dogs before, now I find myself traipsing all over high grasses and thinking that now, not having health insurance, is no time to get Lyme's disease.

Along with the "splendor" of summer at House comes critters. Birds are tweet-tweeting everywhere (until Fred gets hold of them) and deer are frolicking in the yard. Unfortunately, bees the size of a small fawn are standing guard at the door, so I've been going in through the garage to avoid them instead of running screaming, knowing these bees can catch me if they want to. Even as I type, there is a hornet with a long stinger trapped between my skylight and my screen, fighting to get inside and eat me.

Today, while walking the dogs through the woods/my yard, I had just dodged a couple bees. Ducked down from some low-flying bird in Alfred Hitchcock movie style. Navigated my way through the less-tall grass.
Went to step on a garden hose and IT WRIGGLED.
This was no garden hose. This was a garden snake, and a pretty long one at that. By now, I'm panting with all this activity and scream like a banshee as the snake slithers under a bush. The dogs, my alarms and my protectors, just sat there and looked at me.

Have I mentioned there is no hot water because I've apparently run out of propane ("300 bloody dollars to fill that tank," I've been told), and my third floor room with all skylights is currently 85 degrees?

I believe today is the appropriate time to start the countdown till Miss M gets home, meaning the countdown till I move out an hour before her plane arrives.

15 days.

Saturday, May 28, 2005

NYC Adventure...

Yesterday I crossed something off of my "Things to do before I die" list. I went to Good Morning America's Summer Concert in the Park. Allow me to recount the day for you...

In true 20 Narry spontinaity, my sister and I decided late Thursday night to get up at 2:00 in the morning on Friday and drive up to New York to see Rascal Flatts. So 2:00 rolls around and I'm lying in bed thinking, if Rascal Flatts is playing on the radio when my alarm goes off, it's fate, we're supposed to go. Well, they weren't, but we went anyway.

We left the house at 2:45, and were in the New York vicinity by 4:30, when disaster struck. As we are about to enter Lincoln Tunnel, my dashboard lights went out. I had no gages, lights, anything. I freak out, but can't stop in a tunnel. So I keep driving. We get out of the tunnel and make it to 40th and 7th Ave when the car dies...in traffic. Luckily it was only 4:45, and traffic wasn't that bad, but in classic NYC fashion, we got dirty looks, words, and fingers from most of the people who passed. I freak out, don't have my AAA card so I call my mom for my info. I'm on the phone with my mom, when suddenly some guy comes up and helps my sister push us as far off the road as possible. So AAA shows up 40 minutes later, and as coincidence would have it, they have a shop about 4 blocks away. The tow guy says it's probably the alternator, and I'm thinking, great, can that be fixed in a day and at what cost? At this point I figure there is no way we're going to make it to the concert becasue you're supposed to be in the park by 6.

So we go to the shop, give them the info and RUN the 8 or so blocks up to Bryant Park, were we end up in line to get in with about 75 people in front of us. We're pretty excited because we're actually going to get in, even though it's after 6 and we snake our way into the park and end up within like 10 people of the stage. Kelly looks around and really takes in where we are and what we're doing and sings to me "God bless the broken car that lead me straight to Rascal Flatts!" (Most of you probably don't get the joke since you don't know the song, bear with me.) So we yell and cheer with the crowd as they do the morning weather and sound checks and whatnot, and suddenly my sister's phone rings and it's my aunt.

"Kelly? Where are you?" she asks
"Ummm....New York."
"So that WAS you and Betsy I saw on tv! Caitlin and I will be in New York this afternoon!"

So we're kind of excited because we were seen on TV and we're going to be able to meet up with my aunt and cousin later since we can't leave the city anyway. We made friends with people in the audience, got some great pictures of Rascal Flatts with Charlie Gibson, saw an INCREDIBLE concert, and then spent the rest of the morning walking around Times Square. We shopped, saw the naked cowboy, played in Toys R Us, Kelly embarassed herself by getting caught trying to take a picture of a really hot cop we saw, then we had our choice of Starbucks to crash in for a while. After a good dose of caffine, we took the subway down to the museum where I used to work (cause we had to make the trip educational for my mom's conscience). By 4 my car was ready so we went to pick it up and pay the $600 it cost to put in a new alternator and battery.

By that time my aunt and cousin had arrived. We found them and parked the car. As I pull into the parking garage the attendant says to me, "Uh, miss? Do you know there is a scratch on your front bumper?" I just kind of looked at him and thought, buddy...if only you knew! We had a quick dinner cause they had a baseball game to catch, and by 6:15 were on our way home, and at that point were well beyond exhaustion. We're driving along, and suddenly Kelly cries out..."IT'S SNOWING!!!" In her stupor, she thought that the crazy fuzzies flying off a tree were snow, and was quite confused. We spent the next 3 1/2 hours driving home, and at one point concidered just driving right on past PA and to somewhere else exciting, but bypassed that when it started getting dark, and being in the car started getting old. But we came to the conclusion that if your car has to die and you're going to be stranded somewhere...New York City is probably the best place for it to happen!

Rascal Flatts with Charlie Posted by Hello

We made it! Posted by Hello

Tuesday, May 24, 2005

"Hip? Hip Hop? Hip hop anonymous?"

Well, I'm one step closer to the person I should be after an Off the Curb class with Jackie Henderson.

My friend and coworker Anne suggested we take a hip-hop class tonight, only $8. We drove over to the studio, right at the top of the projects and next to a very low-class dive bar. A Jamaican in a caravan drove by and told us we were beautiful and asked if we were already married. Of course, we said yes we were.

Jackie Henderson is the choreographer for the Off the Curb dance troupe, and in case any of you haven't seen them, they are amazing. She's such a freakin natural, too... all she has to do is throw her arm up in the air and I'm like "oooooooh. das niiiice." She's so sweet and casual in her Rocawear sweatshirt and Timbs, I guess the way a hip-hop dance diva should be dressed. I have learned the Crip walk and several other dance moves that you have to see to believe. To give you a mental picture, at one point, she said, "Shake whatever's loosest as fast as you can. But make sure you can stop it!" I thought about how I left my sports bra at home by accident and decided I'd better just shake my ass in that case.

And, then at the end, Jackie Henderson told me I'm really good and I should think about getting involved in the Off the Curb Dance troupe! ... OK, no she didn't. But that would've been cool, huh?

Next time, I'll wear my Rocawear jeans and the yellow Brooklyn sweatshirt Brian gave me. I knew I got them for a reason.

Monday, May 23, 2005

F'n Blog.

I hate that it always takes me like 10 min to figure how to make a god damn post on this thing.

All I have to say in response to this weekend, if you think I had sluttly and mortifying stories to tell before, well, you aint heard nothing yet.

(For the record I blame it all on massive amounts of pot and three 007 drinks as prepared by the bartender that goes by 'Scooter'.)

I was going to write an es muy caliente version of this post but then remembered that virtually anyone can read this. I learned my lesson yesterday when at Katie Lucas's house we're hanging out, passing around a bowl and her cousin is there with us, a girl, looks about 16. She has a boyfriend named Mozart. Yes you read right. So whatever, I don't mind telling my X-rated stories to 16 year olds, they're old enough right? Yeah well, she looks older then she is. Gauged on her reaction I asked how old she was after I told the story (A very saucy tale if I do say so myself). She was definitely 12.

Oops.

Sunday, May 22, 2005

A trip down f lane...

As promised, when we graduated we all sat in the rain around the fire at 20 narry and the secret of f was revealed...but before that it caused quite a commotion on many college campuses and in many profiles/away messages. Some favorites:

pezgirl712: i am so glad that my f is causing such a commotion at uconn
johnfingbozzuto: it's insane, people are putting up posters offering rewards for the meaning of f, professors are switching their class discussions to theories about f. Ariel Sharon is threatening genocide against the palestinians already, apparently they claim they know the meaning of f...i'm walking in the middle of a war zone...i'm that compelled by the f

superkepeli83: here at JWU there has been talk about this mysterious "f" as well. The culinary folks are working to decifer it's recipe!!

MakeshiftHeart: i need to know what f is! you don't understand, the meaning of life is nothing compared to what f MIGHT be!?

pudgyowl: erica, i have been working up the courage to ask you this, but i was scared i'd be the victim of one of your away messages. what the hell is all this "f" talk about? i don't get it i've seen it in your away messages before and john told me how he tried forever to get it out of you is this just about your away message having an f in it or is it something more?

auto response from pezgirl712: apparently the f has caused a alphabet soup effect on aim profiles across the country!! what can i say...f is mmm mmm good!

pezgirl712: do you like f?
smarterchild: Yeah, I guess. Do you like f?
pezgirl712: of course i like f!!
smarterchild: That's interesting. You're not the first person to have said they like f.
pezgirl712: i like the way the f went down
smarterchild: Well, I don't think I like the way the f went down.
pezgirl712: your just jealous
smarterchild: What makes you think I'm jealous?
pezgirl712: don't hate f cause you just aint f
smarterchild: Well alright!

Curiosity…
LUVS2SMILE2: What is f?
ncastle77: what the f is f?
cashman81: yeah, even though you won’t tell me what it is, I still embrace it

Incredulity…
AnjieT929: who are you kidding, youre not going to tell me what f is
Dani411: that’s a cruel joke if you are teasing people w/ the meaning of F and not really going to tell them

Desperation!
Ericasue: im jealous of the f so I need to make up my own initially things
SLEDAWG440: hey don’t ffer that to anyone!
DjMouth1212: Kate I don’t wanna know what F is

i am a post-aholic this weekend

So at 22 I think this is the beginning of "always a brides maid never the bride" i am in my first 2 weddings this year.

Last night my best friend Vicki made me promise that if i get engaged any time soon that i wont set the date for before her wedding to which i responded "Can you please think before you speak"

I ran into 2 girls i graduated with last night 1 was there with her HUSBAND and the other was engaged. The married one told me that everyone we graduated with has kids and they keep bugging her about what is taking so long. Then i saw jamies (from miley freshman year...you know the anime one) ex boyfriend who told me they were engaged but now they dont speak and then i found myself smack in the middle of a bacchalorette (kate, i hope you like my spelling of that) party.

I really think that this living at home thing is not working out for me WHY THE HELL ARE ALL THESE PEOPLE STICKING AROUND NORTH BRANFORD AND GETTING MARRIED its like we live in the 50s when people were married off and having kids by the time they are 17! I really dont feel the need to get married right now I need to move to a city and be single...who wants to come?

Saturday, May 21, 2005

Also...

Also, I'd like to include a short edition of: "Why does erica only attract men she could never possibly date?"

1. Last week a ghetto looking older man (like 30 or so) was stopped next to me at a red light. He motioned for me to roll down my window, and so I did. Then he informed me that he would like to take me out to dinner. At which pont I rolled up the window and sped off.

2. The man at work that I have been told wants to date me....yeah, I found out yesterday that he is 36. YUCK!

Gimmie Gimmie Gimmie that Groupie Love (the prequil)

Staying on the topipc of groupie love, I just feelt the need to reminice about a simaler (until the twist ending) night of kates groupie love escapades.

So there we were at the Pelham seeing a band called Felix Brown: "359 degrees of music with just a little bit of room for you (Kate) to squeeze your (her) ass in." Courtney had told us all about the band and how spectacular they were.

After downing 6 or 7 of whatever the night's drink special was, we were all ready to dance to the ecclectic assortment of covers that were being played by Felix Brown. Kate was sporting her new "Flavor of the Week" tee-shirt from our most recent TJ Mac excursion. After the band finished singing my personal favorite, California Love, one of the guitar players started chanting something that I eventually decoded as "Flava of the week." We all of course realized that he was talking about the lettering spread accross Kate's chest and started cracking up. One of the other band members cleverly added "It's the FLAVA of the week and it's vanilla!"

Before we knew it, one at a time, my friends were pulled up on stage and encoraged to dance to the riff from California love and the band singing "shake it baby, shake it baby." After each person contributed, they recieved a smack on the ass and a logo sticker on their back pocket by one of the Felix Brown members.

After a few more songs of dancing and drinking, a band member later known as Kwesi, snached Kate's sweatshirt (which she was holding in front of her chest unconciously) and tossed it to the back of the stage declaring to us that it was "Blocking his inspiration."

And the rest, as they say, is history. Jenn picked us up from the bar and Kate informed her that 20 narry would be holding the after party for the band. I insisted that she stay awake. I spent the rest of the evening at the kitchen table with Jenn and DC (a band member) talking about everything from teaching to R. Kelly's tendency to piss on people. Kate and Kwesi reappeard the 2 band members left, and before they were out the door Jenn and I had devoured what was left of their pizza and bread sticks in record time. The last quote of the night was from Jenn, the most observent of the three of us: "What was that ring on Kwesi's left hand?"

...but that, my friends is another story for another time...

Thursday, May 19, 2005

Due to Jenn's scolding, now known as "Gimme Gimme Gimme that Groupie Love"

I had this feeling the whole time that something really, really cool was going to happen, but I couldn’t exactly come right out and say that. It would’ve sounded arrogant or teenybopperish, or both. But something very cool did in fact happen.

Angie and I parked the car in Boston to find it smoking and leaking coolant. Our night seemed off to a bumpy start, but we jumped on the T (God, I love public transportation) and headed down to the Roxy for The Roots concert. Next, we stood in the wrong line for a half hour to collect our guest list passes and thought we had missed my beloved Floetry. I was bummed.

The club was packed. Angie pointed out balcony and decided if it wasn’t VIP (or was), we should get up there. We grabbed a couple beers, $6 Bud Lights in a plastic bottle. We scouted out the locations, and we settled in behind a couple Hispanic girls at a spot that looked right over the stage. I befriended one by discussing just where that weed smoke might be coming from.

“Mmm, girl if you find it you come tell me,” she said, swinging her hips. “They betta be sharin!”
“I know, right?” I said, acting like I cared.

Angie pulled on my sleeve.

“Look over there, where that sign says the Roots,” she said, pointing at a black curtain pulled back just enough to see through. “I think that’s them, right there!”

With our free tickets, we had stumbled upon a place with the best view AND right next to backstage. Holy crap, we agreed, we were looking at The Roots only a few yards and a VIP rope away. Things were looking up.

Needless to say, The Roots were outta control when they took the stage. They haven’t become one of the most legendary hip-hop groups for nothing. And wouldn’t you know, they took a break and out came Floetry! Life, my friends, was good!

During their break, the band went up and hung out on the outside of their curtain, right in our plain view. We were baffled. There they were, drinking bottles of water and actually watching the other artists performing. The girl that sings their backup vocals was right next to me, talking to a couple people. I decided I had to meet her.

I strode right up to her and told her I thought she was amazing, the whole band was amazing, her EARRINGS WERE AMAZING! God, I said, you guys are just so friggin cool! She grinned and shook my hand and said it was nice to meet me. She introduced me to her cousins who were there for the show. I walked back over to Angie with the decision that The Roots were my new favorite people. Who knew it would get even more interesting from there? Well, I did, but we’re getting to that.

So, when I was finished gushing about how beautiful and well-accessorized the Roots girl was, I turned my attention to the band members hanging over the railing right next to me. I looked at the drummer, ?uestlove, probably the most recognizable of the group because of his fro. (Note: I didn’t know his name at the time, or anyone's in the band for that matter. I have since learned everything there is to know about The Roots.) I’m looking at ?uestlove, mumbling something about how OMG, they are just standing right there like they aren’t famous, and he nods his big old fro and waves at me, not a hint of a smile but why would a badass drummer need to smile? My jaw drops, and I shriek and hope nobody can hear.


I wave back, then I look directly down at my beer to contemplate how to react
when someone famous waves at you unprovoked.

Wow, I think. This is pretty friggin great. I met the girl with the huge earrings and the drummer waved to me. I start sending Ian frantic text messages so he knows everything he was missing. I look at the people around me, paying particular attention to the Asians standing behind me with big Asian grins and dancing to the music. I think they’re probably stoned, and I talk to Angie about how much I love Asians in general.

When I get the nerve to look back over at the band, I caught the eye of the guitarist, aka Captain Kirk. He was looking at me. I try to smile, but after three beers and two famous people I’m not too confident in my muscle contractions. He keeps looking, then he and ?uestlove turn and start whispering.

I start to think they are talking about me, then I mentally smack myself in the forehead and think, shut up you dumb fuck. They are The Roots. They’re not talking about you. But still, I’m secretly thinking it, as much as you can keep a secret from your own self.

They took the stage again, rallying for another amazing hour. The crowd had thinned out when Floetry came on, because I think people thought the Roots wouldn’t come back out. So we had a good size space of the balcony to ourselves and we danced. I couldn’t help but think that Captain Kirk was looking at me, but I tried to fight it. But it was like that time that we first went to see Felix Brown. I knew from probably the third song that something was eventually gonna go down, and when Kwesi took my coat and tossed it to the back of the stage I knew where he was going later. It was kind of like that, only they couldn’t reach my coat at a real concert and this was THE ROOTS!

The show ended, and I slowly finished my beer so Angie wouldn’t try to get me to leave.


As the band left the stage, Kirk the guitar maniac came up the stairs and walked
directly over to us.
“Hi,” he said, and stuck out his hand. “I’m Kirk.”

I shook it, acting like I knew he was Kirk, and introduced myself. Ditto to Angie.
He asked if we enjoyed the show, had we seen them before, et cetera. I don’t think either me or Angie remembers much of the conversation because we were waiting for the chance to scream.

“You know what?” Kirk said. “I want to introduce you to my bass player. Can you hang out here for one minute?”
Sure, we said, trying to act cool. We could wait. He walked off backstage, and me and Angie turned and looked at each other blankly for about 7 or 8 seconds.
“AAAAHHHH!” we screamed, startling the stoned Asians. “AAAAH! He just came over here and introduced himself to US!”

A minute or two later, Kirk came back with Hub, the bass player. Kirk made Angie’s night, looking down at her pink Barbie t-shirt. She had originally felt underdressed in jeans and flip flops, but her Barbie tee pulled her through yet another night like a champ.
“Can you tell me your name again? I keep wanting to call you Barbie,” he said, probably not realizing that being called Barbie by a member of the Roots was the best possible scenario she could imagine for that night. Meanwhile, I was trying to explain to Hub how I think they are the coolest, least pretentious band I have ever seen. He was rubbing my arm.

“I mean, I just think it’s so great that you guys just come out here and meet people after the show,” I said, rambling like I do when I am excited. He put his arm around me.
“Well, how else are we supposed to meet the cute girls?”
I internally shrieked again. Hub tells me how he’s gotta get on a tour bus again at 4 a.m., they’re going to Cleveland. Yea, it’s fun touring but sometimes he wishes he could get more sleep. OK, so maybe Hub (on the right) is the kind of guy that would hit on me anyway. He’s certainly not the hottest in the band. He’s a big, black, sorta mean looking dude. But very sweet, and famous, and hitting on me. They say something like they’ll be right back. Angie shrieks, “he thinks you’re cute!” I just open my mouth but by this point I’m too overwhelmed to shriek. I just shake my head, bewildered.
Kirk comes back to say goodbye, giving me a kiss on the cheek and Angie a kiss on the cheek AND a hug (hubba hubba, Kirk is kinda hot). At some point, Kirk tells me he likes my braids. I figure maybe that’s why this is all happening, Angie's Barbie tee and my big hoop earrings and a couple little braids here and there, very Julia Stiles in Save the Last Dance. Good accessory call, I think. Meanwhile, some girl had butted in with Hub, and Angie and I just stood there waiting, smiling like we were not freaking out, and sent frantic text messages but tried to appear nonchalant about it. Hub came back.

“You are just so cute,” he said. “My boy came over and told me I had to come over here and meet you cuz he knew I’d like you.”
I thought, “What! That shit’s crazy!” And then I said, "What! That shit's crazy!"
I was still dumbfounded by this whole affair.
“Nah,” he said, squeezing my arm. “You’re so cute! It’s not crazy.”

He went backstage, and me and Angie left.

At this point, I told Angie that I knew all along this was going to happen, but who could actually say that out loud? She understood.

I know that might seem like an anti-climactic ending, just going home. You all were probably thinking I went backstage and gave him something to remember, but God, that quickie shit is so two years ago for me. We just left, with the knowledge that very famous men picked us out of a huge crowd to say hello, and that we can feel pretty good about that.

Monday, May 16, 2005

Raise your hand

Who wants to go see the Roots with me Wednesday in Boston? Ian is SO dumped.

Now recruiting anyone with a love for hip hop and who also thinks they are black. I think me and Ian might have been the only ones that fit that though.

Act now or forever hold your peas.

Friday, May 13, 2005

May Day

It was May Day at Kuumba Academy today. I know some of you may be confused, thinking that May Day has come and gone, but we like to do things a little differently at our fine establishment. Top 10 highlights:

10. Watching the entire student body do the 1,2, Step
9. Watching Brian get dunked repeatedly in the dunk tank
8. The new cougar mascot running around...and the kindergarden teacher making out with it
7. not gonna make it to 1 in classic top 10 list fashion
6. walking in 30 minutes late bagel and coffee in hand
5. teachers run amok in the inflatable obstacle course...i've got scars
4. "Hey Mr. Evans, can I have one of those burnt hotdogs?"
"I KNEW you liked em big and black Ms. Dulik!"
3. being ripped off the wall on said obstacle course and instantly remembering that night senior year when i hurt my ankle the first time
2. reliving the week at happy hour with all the teachers afterwards
1. random memory: a top 10 classic for your enjoyment:

top ten list for friday night at 20 narragansett:
10. Cathy gets flung into the wall by brian after trying to pants him
9. Shaun finally showing up at 2 am after staying at work late
8. karaoke with dr brian p
7. the brian and stephanie show
6. the newly added foch "strip poker card"
5. OYOYOYOYOYOYOY-YAY DEEP IN THE JUNGLE IN THE LAND OF ADVENTURE....
4. "can i hit that?"
3. Matt Robadoux made me cry after i bit him
2. never have i ever made out with anyone with a tongue ring (the record stops and the room goes silent)
1. Steph: "never have i ever used my dildoe"
Kate: "well i sure as hell have never used your dildoe!"

a random insite into ericas life

i just ate a cheeseburger and an entire chocolate bunny left over from easter

Thursday, May 12, 2005

Ronald Must Die

I really needed a caramel sundae.
I was home alone the other night, and it was only like, 8 p.m. I thought I would pick up a caramel sundae from McDonalds, the only proper place, and try like hell to avoid eating it until i was home, warm in my bed. In one hand would be my caramel sundae. In the other would be the remote, clicking through the second season of Sex & The City before I have to return it to Netflix. Yes, I actually HAVE to return it, because I can't afford Netflix anymore.

Anyway, I got to McDonalds and entered the drive thru, since I always drive thru and since I was wearing pajama bottoms and no bra. I pulled up to the speaker and scanned the menu absent-mindedly, wondering if I wanted nuts. I noticed that the dessert section now had McFlurry's and hot fudge sundaes. No caramel. Hm.

"Welcome to McDonalds, may I take your order please?"
"Oh, hi, can I get a caramel sundae please..."
I trailed off, trying to decide if i should ask for the extra caramel on the bottom, when to my surprise, she interjected.
"We don't have caramel."
"Um, excuse me?"
"We don't have caramel."
"Oh, crap. OK I'll have an oreo McFlurry."

I drove around in a panic. Maybe they just ran out. Maybe it's just this McDonalds. On the way over, I had been contemplating whether I should go to the McDonalds on West Main or East Main; maybe I had just made the wrong choice and I was being punished.
I pulled up to the disinterested looking Hispanic girl at the window and handed her my $2 and change, far more than I should be paying if I were getting my $1 caramel sundae.

"So," I said, trying to act composed. "Are you just out of caramel or do you not carry it anymore?"
"We don't have it anymore."

My face dropped. I looked at her sadly, and I told her quite honestly that this was the saddest thing I have ever heard in my life. She smiled politely.
I went home with my McFlurry and made a couple frantic phone calls, trying to find out if this was a McDonalds-wide phenomenon. Jamie confirmed that she in fact also had tried to get a caramel sundae a few weeks ago, to no avail. Oh my god.

So, yesterday afternoon I went to my Memere's house to bring her some oatmeal in the hospital. I went instinctively to the fridge for a Diet Pepsi, and there in a blaze of glory was a bottle of caramel on the door. I reached and swiftly pulled off the cap and squirted it right into my mouth-- about a full mouthful if truth be told. God, it's good. McDonalds be damned.

Wednesday, May 11, 2005

The state of my underwear...

Recently, my sister and I have been on a joint mission. Many of you may remember a day when my sister and I barely spoke to each other, those days are long gone. Since I moved out of the room we used to share, we have become cohorts in an effort we like to call "disgust our mother." It all started a few months ago when my sister confessed to me that she needed to go out and get some new thongs, but that meant she would have to start doing her own laundry because my mom thinks they're "skanky." Suddenly, we felt a bond unlike any we had ever felt before. We have spent many a weekend searching for great underwear, and also decided to do laundry together from then on. Our code for I need to wash my underwear is "I'm gonna wash my sheets." It's amazing how my sister has really filled the shoes that used to belong to Kate...she's an INCREDIBLE TJMaxx underwear shopper. Now our quest is to find the "skankiest" thongs, bikini cuts, boy shorts, etc, we can find. Cut to last night...I had thrown some laundry in the washer and dryer that I left there, and my mom was folding it. Naturally one of my thongs came out, and I have to say it was one of the rather tame ones. She held it up with a look of utter disgust and dismay and said, "You are such a SKANK!" I sat there and thought...if only you knew what ELSE was in my drawer! Then she pulled out my bra...

Random Memory:
Shopping with Kate in TJMaxx when she found Le Perle bra and panties, but they were in different colors. She spent a good 20 minutes trying to decide if she should get it despite the mismatch. She decided not to, and to this day everytime we walk into TJMaxx she says... maybe there will be more Le Perle?
To any of you who were faithful readers of the Mosaic in the good old days, i suggest today you check out the features section at www.newportmercury.com. A scintillating story about thefacebook.com, which unfortunately has my picture but i suggest if you're nearby, you pick up the print edition. THAT one has cute pics of Angie, Abby, Brian, Dave, etc. all over the page which makes sense. that picture of me... does not. But I love you guys and I wanted to share.

A blog about my traumatic Tuesday evening will follow later tonight! Nothing serious, except it is serious.

Another post!!!!

I decided to check that bitch who lives in 20 narry's blog today cause I had some free time! I was cracking up cause under her latest post, entitled "Fuck you Newport" she had tried to get a parking sticker from city hall and they wouldn't give her one cause she had to pay a $45 parking ticket for parking TOO CLOSE to the fire hydrant.....

....and you DO like parking too close to the fire hydrant

This also inspires some hysterical random memories:
1) approximately 7 am, Erica and I are leaving the house for student teaching.
Erica: Shit! Jenn! Someone tried to steal my hubcap last night!
Me: How can you tell?
Erica: Because one of the bolts is missing from the hubcap! They must have done that with pliers! Assholes!!!
Me: Erica... who would unscrew one of the bolts from a 1947 Cutlass with a pair of pliers and then run away?
Erica: Oh... um... I guess youre right.

2) Approximately 7 am, about a week later
Erica: Shit! Jenn! Where is my car!
Me: I dont know, look around Erica. You do this every day.
Erica: NO, I walked up and down the street like 5 times and it's definitely not here. I parked right in front of (the fire hydrant) the house!
Me: Erica, I dont know. I have to go.

Cut to 5 minutes later, Ericas on the phone with the police
Erica: My car got stolen! What do you MEAN I got towed! Where is it? $80! This is bullshit! I wasn't anywhere NEAR that friggin fire hydrant! (She starts kicking shit) FUCCCK!!! I don't have $80!!! Fuck Newport! Fuck fire hydrants!! Jenn!! I need a ride to the impound!

Tuesday, May 10, 2005

yeay for personal day

"...and then the skies opened up and god said 'i hate you alfalfa'"

replace alfalfa with erica mentone and you've pretty much got a sum up of my existance right now. it seems as though im being teased by some sort of higher being. for example...

flashback to august roughly 3 days before school starts in new haven:
me: hello is dr williams available?
dr. williams: this is he.
me: hi dr williams, this is erica mentone im just calling because i have an job interview today at old saybrook and i think i am the only one up for the position but i did not want to accept a job offer until i spoke to you first.
dr. williams: oh, well you are hired i just have to figure out where to put you
me: oh wonderful thank you so much
click "AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH" jump jump jump "AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH" jump jump jump "I GOT A JOB" ...flash forward to now and i dont think i need to do much explaining

example # 2
i send a application packet to north branford and to my suprise they call me the next day to set up a screening interview. im all excited of course...then flash forward to today (the day of the interview) im breaking out from stress, i have a guilty concience about looking for a new job, im still all bent up about the way my kids acted yesterday, and i sound remarkably like kelly foster and cant think of anything intelegent to say because im so frustrated over the fact that i can hardly speak.
NB school principal concluding the interview: well i dont want you to get discoraged but there are over 200 applicants so we may call you back and we may not ....but make sure you apply to a whole bunch of other places because they have just as many applicants if not more and you better get going because everyone is hireing like this week.

i did fax out a whole bunch of application packets today but only because kate forced me to and i am juuuuuuust a little bit tired of the phrase "dont get discoraged but..." preceding everything that anyone has said to me lately

but on an positive note i am going out to get buffalo wings tonight, i have reading testing for the rest of the week (1 kid at a time), and in 43 days it will be summer vacation

and i DO like wings

A lil nibble

I have about 5 min cause I just finished some cover letters and there are a few things I would like to address!!

a) Erica good luck today (a.k.a. I know you have the day off bitch so you best be posting a long ass blog)

b) When are we going to get together again?

c) We need to plan some fun stuff to do this summer

d) Are the rest of you a holes besides Kate even ALIVE?!?!?!?

Ok. Now that my housecleaning issues are out of the way, I was telling one of my new coworkers about my job in Cranston the other day and the conversation went a little like this...

Co-worker (CW): So, you teach in Cranston huh? What do you teach?
Me: Yea. 2nd grade ESL.
CW: Hm. That must be interesting.
Me: OMG YES! I love it so much it is like the best thing ever.
CW: You couldn't pay me enough to do that.
Me: It's really not that bad. I love it, and most of the kids are bilingual and that's why they're in the program anyway.
CW: That's not what I mean.
Me: Oh... what do you mean then
CW: I just mean, like, being around all those Spanish people all the time, I, like, dont think I could do it.
Me (you know how I get about this): UHHH yeah well I like it.

(What I'm thinking, but I have to hold my tounge for $12/hr: You stupid bitch! You know what I can't stand? Racist whores like you and snotty little white rich kids from Portsmouth!!! Get over here so I can pistol-whip you with my glock!)

Just a little ditty I thought you would all enjoy. Have a nice day wherever you may roam. And call me if you want to hang out.

Monday, May 09, 2005

The Black Experience

Anyone who's driven with me on a Sunday knows where I keep my dial set. Sunday is the day of rest, the day of family dinners... The day to leave the island and jam in my car to 95.5 WBRU. Any other day, this is not my station of choice, but on Sunday, the alt-rock station becomes 360: The Black Experience.

In the morning, they take ya to church with gospel in case your hangover kept you from the chapel. Evenings ease into "The Gentle Touch" slow jams. The music is interspersed with shoutouts that usually sound like this: "To JoJo, from your wifey. I love and miss you. Keep ya head up and you'll get home soon." One can guess that all the radios in the ACI are tuned to 95.5 on Sundays, as inmates listen for a personal shoutout from their own wifey, a reason to keep their head up.

Most of the DJs are horrible. They stutter, they stumble and they generally have nothing interesting to say, but I manage to block out the 30 or 40 seconds at a time to have a radio experience blissfully high on hip-hop but low on G-Unit. It's one day to listen to the old-school, the classics, the hits that don't get the overblown play on Hot 106 and enjoy being in the car. Sunday was an especially good day because I had a lucky day.

They do contests constantly, and sometimes I get the sense I should try because anyone else who's listening probably has to wait in line and call collect from the payphone. They were talking about a Roots concert in Boston and said, "call up and be the 9th caller to win and see the Roots." So, I called. Beep Beep Beep. Over and over, maybe like 9 times. Ehh, i figured, I'll call ONE more time and if it doesn't get through, I'll stop. So I did... it didn't. I put the phone down.

Still, I called one more time, because I had this feeling that I would win. Nope. Busy again.

Put the phone back down. Ugh, one more time, I thought. Ring! Ring!

"Hello, this is 360"
"Hi, I'm calling about the concert tickets?"
"Do you like the Roots, cuz you're the 9th caller!"

I like 95.5 because they don't play your conversation when you win. So I said hells, yes, I like the Roots.

In a grand sweep of serendipity, my sisters in soul, Floetry, are the opening act. Yesssss. I'm bringing Ian, which is good because I'll be on the guest list and I'm afraid I'll have to say "I'm with the Black Experience." Ian won't mind though.