Sunday, April 03, 2005

Oof.

SO, call me Erica, but I've done something stupid.

I was pumping gas and trying not to mess up my freshly painted nails, so of course I dropped the gas pump, spurting fuel around. By the time I got that hose under control, I was glad to be a nonsmoker decided I wasn't wet and flammable and I got on my way. Upon my arrival back at "House," I started gathering the million bags I always come back from Warwick with and my pocketbook felt awfully light. Then, it all came flashing back.

I always put my wallet on the trunk when I use my credit card to pump gas,
and in all that hose commotion, I forgot to take it with me back in the car.

So, like any good Salve girl, I called my daddy and begged him to go look for it, since I was now 45 minutes away from Warwick. Thank God he responded with concern and not the "what the hellll do you want me to do about it" that I usually expect. In the meantime, I was greeted by snapping hungry dogs that make NO attempt to NOT pee in the house, and what has to be a dozen fruity bats howling in the trees next to my front door. Who am I, and what am I doing here?

I did what anyone in my position would do. Screamed frivolously out the door at the bats to shut the fuck up, told the dogs I hate them and cracked open the last Smirnoff when I realized that I can't even watch the fucking Red Sox opener because I LIVE IN THE WOODS AND I HAVE NO CABLE.

Don't worry, though, at least one of my problems is solved because, like a good Daddy, my father found my wallet on Veterans Memorial Boulevard. Imagine if I had to cancel my nearly maxxed credit cards.

4 comments:

ericasue said...

Oh I had a hose commotion the other day! Actually it was more of a "Newby's gas station fixed their pumps so now they stop and mean stop" moment. I've always had to fill it a good dollar or more over the stop.

This time it spilled down the side of my car and made a little pool. I prayed that one of the kids and not Mr. Newby was working when I went in to put it on the family tab. It was one of those moments where I wished our gas station out in the woods had pay at the pump.

Kate said...

Umm, you have a family tab? Where the hell do you live, Mayberry? Haha! Who needs pay at the pump when you can make Mom pay inside!

Jenn said...

"I was pumping gas and trying not to mess up my freshly painted nails"

"Screamed frivolously out the door at the bats to shut the fuck up, told the dogs I hate them and cracked open the last Smirnoff"

2 points for me.... I would total Erica's points too but I can't count that high

ericasue said...

Haha. It was a right of passage in our family when you were taken inside and given permission to put things on the tab.